I just read a long thread about all of the things US expats miss about life in the US. I thought it would be interesting to ask about the opposite: What do you NOT miss about life in the US?

  • yckawtsrif@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    Former expat, living in the US Southeast again. I didn’t miss the general lack of politeness in the US, and I’ve never become re-accustomed to it.

    Americans vary wildly in terms of friendliness, politeness and hospitality. But, as a general rule, Americans (including Southerners who pride themselves on Southern hospitality) aren’t particularly polite.

    Even in the Southeast, “Gimme” and “I want” have long taken the place of “May I have?” Words such as “please” and “thank you” are becoming rarer. “Mm-hmm” or blank stares are rapidly replacing “you’re welcome.” Even if a person is well meaning in the states, the politeness just usually isn’t there.

    Even most assholes in the countries I’ve lived in (e.g., Netherlands, Singapore, Australia, New Zealand) used the bare minimum of good manners. I still find it refreshing to travel to Taiwan, Japan, Korea, and Canada, where courtesy is still pretty common.

    • catsandalpacas@alien.top
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      1 year ago

      Interesting, I had the opposite experience! I found people in the US to be much friendlier than the Europeans in the country I am in. That’s also one of the main reasons I am moving back

      • yckawtsrif@alien.topB
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        1 year ago

        I didn’t find Texas genuinely friendly at all. Perhaps it was the part of the state I lived in, but I also traveled throughout it pretty extensively. Never impressed.

        The people in Kentucky are generally, genuinely friendlier and kinder than Texans.

        Southerners are more polite on average than people in the Northeast and on the West Coast, I suppose. But, Southerners still aren’t what I’d call polite place by global standards.

        My take is this: Friendliness is cool, but don’t throw away politeness when interacting with colleagues or customer service personnel.

    • timefornewgods@alien.topB
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      1 year ago

      Big facts, the lack of a solid social contract among americans, lack of nuance in rationalizing and a general inability to disagree respectfully are a tragic circumstance when combined.

      • yckawtsrif@alien.topB
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        1 year ago

        Fully agree.

        Here’s another example: The use of “please,” “thank you,” and “May I have?” (instead of “gimme”) aren’t used as commonly as Southerners as they’d like to believe. It’s certainly not common in the rest of the country.

        Confidence and assertiveness are fine, but not at the cost of things such as degrading service personnel, whether unintentionally or intentionally.