This story is believable.
That said, while Kiwis aren’t huge small talkers, they can be very talkative, even with perfect strangers, in quite a few settings. It just usually isn’t for the heck of it.
I’ve found Kiwis honest-to-God friendly and helpful, just not very boisterous and loud. Similar to Canadians actually. That’s why I love traveling from here in the US to Canada whenever I can; Canada reminds me somewhat of NZ. :)
Scandinavians/Nordics Japanese Canadians Singaporeans Kiwis Germans Swiss look
Honorable mention: Pacific Northwest (USA)
This. I’m a moderate lib, albeit not exactly progressive. Progressivism with few societal and legal guardrails can yield chaos, not dissimilar to how hyper-capitalism with few societal and legal guardrails can also yield chaos.
California has the worst of such progressivism and hyper-capitalism, and New York, New Jersey, Washington state, and Colorado aren’t far behind these days.
However, there are states with fairly progressive governments where personal responsibility and caring about your community are still pretty well ingrained. Where the quality of life is high and job market is pretty solid. Massachusetts comes to mind - though it’s pricey.
Hi. I’ve lived in Australia and New Zealand, and now live back in the Southeast US.
A few questions, if I may:
Tying into question #1, Australia is a large enough country that there are some dramatically different environments. Not as much so (culturally, societally, climatically, topographically, etc.) as, say, the US, but still dramatically different. When I lived in Australia, I lived in the Brisbane/Gold Coast area, found the people pretty affable and friendly there (especially Brisbane), and had a job I mostly enjoyed. I liked visiting Sydney pretty well, too, and found the locals friendly enough. However, it did feel like they were trying a little too much, oddly, to act like NYC at times. I didn’t like visiting Melbourne at all, I thought the people there were generally assholes.
Tying into question #2, if you’re an introvert, then Tasmania in Australia or, better yet, New Zealand might be a good fit for you. If you have a strong work ethic, then I found Aucklanders to work almost as intensely as Americans - while they’re in the office. Kiwis, like Aussies and many other societies - still enjoy their 4+ weeks off work each year. So, New Zealand has a more introverted culture, yet they’re friendlier than both Aussies and Americans I’d argue. There’s a healthier sense of work-life balance IMO. The land would remind you quite a lot of Northern California through British Columbia. Big drawback: One of the worst COL/income ratios in the developed world nowadays.
I explored longer-term visa options for Australia and New Zealand. For Oz, I just shrugged my shoulders and told myself, “Nice try.” But for NZ, I was genuinely bummed that that didn’t work out.
Tying into question #3, you don’t need to watch Fox News, Newsmax, or OANN (which I sure as hell don’t watch any of those) to get that many large US cities are currently dealing with one or more of the following: violent crime, acutely mentally ill people, homelessness, tent cities, open-air drug markets, affordable housing, and inhumane regard for new migrants. I love California, too, but it’s not worth $3500+/month to live in Marina Del Rey, when you then can drive just a mile or two only to ask yourself, “What the hell happened here?!” Hate to say it, but the progressive state government there has really screwed the pooch.
Maybe a smaller, left-ish city with a well-educated population, decent job market, lower cost of living than the coasts, and some insulation from crime would work for you. e.g., Lexington (KY), Salt Lake City, Chattanooga, Tucson, Greenville/Spartanburg/Clemson (SC), Ann Arbor (MI), West Lafayette (IN). I live near Lexington, and, well, don’t let the fact that it’s in Kentucky turn you off quite yet; it is growing and has a lot to offer. Fun facts: it has historically been rather progressive with regard to LGBTQIA+ issues, co-operates a ferry that dates back to the 1780s, and offers one of the largest city-run nature preserves in the country.
Good luck with whatever you decide!
Fully agree.
Here’s another example: The use of “please,” “thank you,” and “May I have?” (instead of “gimme”) aren’t used as commonly as Southerners as they’d like to believe. It’s certainly not common in the rest of the country.
Confidence and assertiveness are fine, but not at the cost of things such as degrading service personnel, whether unintentionally or intentionally.
I didn’t find Texas genuinely friendly at all. Perhaps it was the part of the state I lived in, but I also traveled throughout it pretty extensively. Never impressed.
The people in Kentucky are generally, genuinely friendlier and kinder than Texans.
Southerners are more polite on average than people in the Northeast and on the West Coast, I suppose. But, Southerners still aren’t what I’d call polite place by global standards.
My take is this: Friendliness is cool, but don’t throw away politeness when interacting with colleagues or customer service personnel.
Former expat, living in the US Southeast again. I didn’t miss the general lack of politeness in the US, and I’ve never become re-accustomed to it.
Americans vary wildly in terms of friendliness, politeness and hospitality. But, as a general rule, Americans (including Southerners who pride themselves on Southern hospitality) aren’t particularly polite.
Even in the Southeast, “Gimme” and “I want” have long taken the place of “May I have?” Words such as “please” and “thank you” are becoming rarer. “Mm-hmm” or blank stares are rapidly replacing “you’re welcome.” Even if a person is well meaning in the states, the politeness just usually isn’t there.
Even most assholes in the countries I’ve lived in (e.g., Netherlands, Singapore, Australia, New Zealand) used the bare minimum of good manners. I still find it refreshing to travel to Taiwan, Japan, Korea, and Canada, where courtesy is still pretty common.
I’ve Iived in TX and NL.
TX is the worst place I’ve ever lived, full stop. Ugly and depressing, and, the friendly people you’ve described were generally not the people I encountered my experience.
I didn’t particularly like Amsterdam, but Iiked the rest of the country pretty well. I think NL would be more doable if you lived in a more quaint city such as Utrecht, Breda, Heerenveen, or Groningen.
That said, TX and NL both have a stubborn adherence to “their way” of doing things. Neither particularly like “outsiders” coming in and changing things (I think somewhat to their detriment). This explains why so many Texans quip, “Don’t Californicate my Texas,” and why Geert Wilders is in a politically favorable position at this time in NL.
Honestly, and I can’t believe I’m saying this… If you enjoy your quality of life in TX, you might as well stay there. Or, if hubby is an EU citizen, look at another EU/Schengen country (e.g., Switzerland, France, Ireland, Poland).
Nobody wanted to hear my travel stories
You must be from the Southeast or Midwest in the US. If so, I feel ya.
Ummmmmm… Look up Project 2025.
Trump (in tandem with Project 2025) makes Geert Wilders look like one’s lovable, harmless uncle by comparison.
In my case: US -> NL -> SG -> AU -> NZ -> US
I moved from New Zealand back to the US, to Texas. NZ is just incredible, Texas is just dogshit.
Then moved from Texas to Kentucky. Kentucky is a massive improvement and I generally love it here. Two Southern(-ish) states yet with a lot of differences.
That said, while I remain in the US for various reasons (finances, family, friends, etc.), I don’t love the direction that the US is going. Also, Southerners may be friendly and polite by US standards, but they’re not so much by world standards IMO. I’d love to leave the country permanently.
Louisiana is a dump. Pure and simple. And, I happen to be a fan of their food, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s one of the most flawed states in this country.
Coming from Ireland, you’ll have to get used to the lower quality of the people in the US. I’ll just say it that plainly. Even well-meaning people just don’t generally excel in politeness.
Granted, Missouri (or Kentucky, Louisiana, etc.) will be better in this regard than California, New Jersey or Florida. But my statement still stands.
Southerner here.
Southerners are certainly friendlier than most of the rest of the US. The Midwest (including Missouri where you’re looking) and Intermountain West are also generally known for friendliness in my experience. You could kind of lump the three regions together and call them the Heartland.
However, I’ll add: After traveling and living around the world, it’s glaringly obvious that Americans (including Heartlanders) aren’t very polite compared to the Irish, Brits, Aussies, Kiwis, Canadians, Singaporeans, Taiwanese, Japanese (the gold standard), etc., etc.
Put another way, the average Heartlander and American is nowhere as conscientious about using “please” and “thank you,” and about greeting customer service staff with “hello,” as people in some other countries.
And, there is a distinct difference between friendly and polite.
Also, the costs for things such as groceries, auto insurance, domestic flights, etc. have become stupidly expensive for the most part. Our TSA is security theater performed by some of our society’s trashiest and most poorly educated. The quality of customer service has taken a nosedive - in part due poor treatment of staff by companies and, again, by customers.
Just some things to warn you about. If you can work through those hurdles, the US still has a lot of benefits.
Yeah. The MRT and its passengers aren’t loud. Customers at the hawker markets aren’t loud. The ferry passengers between Singapore and Indonesia aren’t loud. Speaking in generalities, of course, but Singapore just isn’t a loud, boisterous society.
Singaporeans themselves were friendly enough, given the chance. They’re just not extroverted.