wondering if anyone else experiences this…
in the states, I am perceived as foreign, when not in the states I am considered american. in the states, I feel like the culture is to either (1) lean in to being american (which comes with some implications of country, republican, etc) or (2) fight like hell to disassociate with America(ns). trying to figure out why that is.
personally, I have picked number 2. whatever the public perception of American is abroad is not something I want to associate with, but I cannot escape that due to my accent. I don’t really identify with a lot of the american maximalism, ethics, loudness, etc, but cannot seem to effectively communicate that to people who aren’t american.
has anyone else experienced this? I suppose if someone is so eager to put me in a box anyways, they aren’t worth being my friend…
If you are American, and pretend you are not, you’re just being childish.
In 2023 just about the most stereotypical American thing you can do is the self hatred. You seem very stereotypically American.
Almost every other culture in the world is full of pride. Americans use to be like that too as well until recently.
Just some Americans. I still share a sense of pride about America, but I also feel I’d be very happy living in a beautiful country in Europe.
Some people despise America, but if they look around they’d see how blessed we are. We aren’t constantly in wars, we aren’t living as second class citizens if we are women, we aren’t forced to conform to a certain religion or dress a certain way. We aren’t perfect by any means, but we could be living in way worse conditions.
Why would anyone “share a sense of pride” being from a certain country?
We absolutely are constantly in wars. The difference is our government is the one that starts them and they never take place on our soil.
I’ll rephrase by saying our country doesn’t have war on our soil. We absolutely shouldn’t be involved in starting other wars. But living here, we aren’t in a war torn country
America: if we can’t be the best country in the world, we’ll settle for being the worst country in the world
It’s all about exceptionalism
Why is labelling you as American “putting you in a box”?
As another commenter said, Americans spend so much time talking about who they are, identities in terms of race, perceived heritage, etc… but to the rest of the world you’re just American.
But, why is that a problem? You come from America and have an American accent, so what do you expect people to assume you are?
But I assure you, no one cares about this perceived identity as much as you apparently do.
Well if you’re a dual citizen then you aren’t just an American… which is based as hell!
Honestly, there aren’t a lot of great world leaders out there right now. I lived in Italy when Bush was president. I got shit, sure. But I would reply “I’m not about that, that’s why I am here”.
Tell them that why you are out and traveling. You want to learn and see and do as opposed to spend. Ask them about their culture. And also ask if they have any questions about America. Many have a lot of misconceptions. And it is also good to state the positives, as life is a balance. Many times there are things that people don’t think of.
For example, Italians would say that it is crazy people can get fired (as FTE cannot get fired in Italy, very very very difficult). However I would point out that while that was true, there was more of a meritocracy and combined with additional education (courses, tutorials,etc), people “move up”. That’s the upward mobility that a lot of other countries don’t have.
In Italy, a secretary stays a secretary, then retires and gets a little pension. In American, it’s weird (these days) if you’re an Admin forever. Our yearly reviews are tied to performance plan and job growth.
So sometimes the “stupid Americans” comments can be the start of interesting conversations.
And also, not to sound like the old lady entered the chat, but please be easier on yourself. You’re born American, nothing wrong with that. Ultimately you decide who you are as a person (morals,beliefs, behaviour). I think wherever you go acting inquisitive and open is good. And they will ultimately appreciate it.
Ps. If somewhere “unsafe”, then yes, pretend you are Canadian! lol
PSs. I’m not spell or grammar checking, because I don’t care. Too busy drinking at the airport.
I was with you until your “PS” because 1) that’s cowardly and stupid and 2) Canadians are not popular these days anywyas
Anywhere you go, people will stereotype you until they know you better. This is not a mean-spirited thing. It’s basic human nature.
When you meet a person, they’re a blank slate as far as you’re concerned. You know nothing about them. It’s human nature to try to fill in the blanks with the things you can figure out. A few things are immediately apparent, like age and gender. Accents tend to give nationalities away; within a country, they could point you to a region or a socioeconomic class.
If I meet someone abroad and they sound British when they start speaking, I will probably assume they are British. I might share some of my experiences from my trips to the UK. If I hear a German accent, I might make a joke about Lederhosen. If it’s Austrian German, then we have something in common because I used to live in Austria, so I’ll bring that experience up. And the moment I tell someone I’m from Norway, I get asked about the northern lights and what winters are like and how much I like Erling Haaland or Magnus Carlsen.
So too with what you’re experiencing. If you sound American, you will be stereotyped as American. As the other person gets to know you better, aspects of your personality will override the stereotype where applicable, but that doesn’t happen immediately. They’ll need to get to know you.
As for why you are perceived as foreign in the US: It sounds like you’ve made being “not American” a core part of your identity. Perhaps it’s working?
How so American of you to make such a huge fuss about nothing.
I am in states. Sure I have an accent, sure I am naturalized, but in 20 years no one had made me feel foreign.
I am free to pick and choose what part of American traditions to follow: for many years I had over the top Halloween but never did anything related to American sports. No one cares what I do or don’t do.
Abroad: no one cares about me being an American, no more than people care about someone being Chinese or Indian or Russian.
I am not that special for someone to care to put me in a box. Sure, I am an American, but that doesn’t make me any special for people to care about me.
This is cringe
If u were born and raised in the US u are an American
While agree with others saying how this post is “so American”. I have spent a good amount of my adult life in Europe. Here is the experience I’ve had: Europeans will never truly understand or appreciate how diverse the US is in so many ways. Yes, London, Madrid, Paris have people from all over the world but it’s not the same diversity we share in the US.
This diversity makes Americans not able to see that we do have a shared culture and we are “just being American” when we move through life. When we are in America, we are with the subset culture we identify with. For example:
My husband just said “those people are looking over here thinking what is that Mexican doing?” And then he quickly goes "actually here I’m just an American so they’re thinking “what is that American doing?”
There is nothing wrong with being an American. As long as you aren’t out in the world perpetuating terrible American stereotypes like being loud or obnoxious then you’re good to just relax and enjoy your life.
Americans have no problem seeing “shared culture”.
A lot of Americans are quite loud about many of those “shared” American culture things, and they like to focus on negatives of that shared American culture.
And, as a immigrant in USA, I have seen plenty of Americans who failed to see themselves how diverse USA is. Americans are very good about generalizing Americans.
As for Americans identifying themselves as subculture is not something unique American, this happens in every country.
There is really no need to over explain yourself to the world: Americans are not exceptionally bad or extremely good or exceptionally unique or exceptionally misunderstood.
“A lot of Americans are quite loud about many of those “shared” American culture things, and they like to focus on the negatives of that shared American culture.” - My what a gross generalization.
Every country has its unique characteristics and the US is no different.
I did not say all Americans and I did not say it is unique to Americans.
So where is exaggeration?
I’m an American who has lived abroad for most of the last decade, spread between Europe and Asia. In my personal experience, no one cares. Of course I’m generalizing but for the most part people take you for who you are, not your nationality at the end of the day. It seems to be a uniquely American thing to care as much as we do about stuff like this. It makes sense considering how insular, xenophobic, and nationalistic the US can be, but abroad, no one gives a shit.
There is one caveat: MAGA is nearly universally ridiculed. Don’t wear your MAGA gear abroad.