wondering if anyone else experiences this…
in the states, I am perceived as foreign, when not in the states I am considered american. in the states, I feel like the culture is to either (1) lean in to being american (which comes with some implications of country, republican, etc) or (2) fight like hell to disassociate with America(ns). trying to figure out why that is.
personally, I have picked number 2. whatever the public perception of American is abroad is not something I want to associate with, but I cannot escape that due to my accent. I don’t really identify with a lot of the american maximalism, ethics, loudness, etc, but cannot seem to effectively communicate that to people who aren’t american.
has anyone else experienced this? I suppose if someone is so eager to put me in a box anyways, they aren’t worth being my friend…
Anywhere you go, people will stereotype you until they know you better. This is not a mean-spirited thing. It’s basic human nature.
When you meet a person, they’re a blank slate as far as you’re concerned. You know nothing about them. It’s human nature to try to fill in the blanks with the things you can figure out. A few things are immediately apparent, like age and gender. Accents tend to give nationalities away; within a country, they could point you to a region or a socioeconomic class.
If I meet someone abroad and they sound British when they start speaking, I will probably assume they are British. I might share some of my experiences from my trips to the UK. If I hear a German accent, I might make a joke about Lederhosen. If it’s Austrian German, then we have something in common because I used to live in Austria, so I’ll bring that experience up. And the moment I tell someone I’m from Norway, I get asked about the northern lights and what winters are like and how much I like Erling Haaland or Magnus Carlsen.
So too with what you’re experiencing. If you sound American, you will be stereotyped as American. As the other person gets to know you better, aspects of your personality will override the stereotype where applicable, but that doesn’t happen immediately. They’ll need to get to know you.
As for why you are perceived as foreign in the US: It sounds like you’ve made being “not American” a core part of your identity. Perhaps it’s working?