Whereas I moved to the US and live in a capital city which actually has no train station, wow crazy! How can public transport be so bad here! I miss the UK public transport, pavements and cycle lanes and ability to walk to the shop. Plus I live in Louisiana so I have to fight off armies of mosquitoes and trump supporters 😱
Yes I get this same feeling but I live in Louisiana US and I feel like the apartments here are the same as the garden shed I had in the Uk. It’s plastic windows and gaps around all the doors and windows. It’s crazy how bad the housing is in US. I had no idea before I moved here (moved here from Germany but I am British)
I just lost my mum to (stage 4) breast cancer. I live in the US and my mum lived in the UK. She didn’t live long after her diagnosis and I will always regret I didn’t make it home in time to see her. I thought she would have longer than a month. It’s a terrible disease and realistically if his mum is stage 4 she is an incredibly sick woman who may not have long left, but yes could also have another 3-5 years.
Your husband will most likely regret it if he does not go home to see her. I would think he could be granted compassionate leave? He could combine this with annual leave probably. His first step should be talking to his work about compassionate leave/annual leave and ensuring he gets to spend time with his mother.
It’s a terrible shock getting this news and your husband will be going through all kinds of emotions. He needs time to absorb what is happening and the reality of the situation. When possible try to talk to him to explain your needs too, in a calm and supportive manner. I am sure he won’t want to miss his child’s birth but at the moment probably all he can think about is his mother.
Does he know what treatment she can have? At stage 4 there was little they could do for my mum. She had a few sessions of radiotherapy for the lesions on her spine and was given strong drugs but she was too sick to undergo chemotherapy. It would be good for you both to understand what treatments are possible at this point and the prognosis. It will be dependent on how far the cancer has spread already.
He needs to see his mum and take this time, but when he is calmer you should discuss with him your imminent birth and the life you have together . Perhaps it is possible to suggest to him that he speaks with his work and takes leave for now so he doesn’t close that door permanently while he is not thinking straight then he can see his mum and family and consider with you what the next step is.
It’s a tough situation for you all and I wish you the best.
USA - living in Louisiana. Pretty much everything confuses me here.
Car culture- no one walks anywhere and if they wanted to they can’t as there are next to no pavements.
I am a cyclist, people in the city I live in don’t seem to ever have seen a cyclist before and yell abuse at me daily telling me to get off the road.
Plastic everywhere- worst is in stores they give out carrier bags like candy.
Terrible political climate- just hate the politics here. It’s probably not as bad in other states but here in Louisiana it’s dreadful, almost medieval belief system here. There is no tolerance for others.
Food- the food here is very unhealthy fried food and all animals. This does not work for me as I am vegan.
Drivers- they are all terrible, drive drunk or using phone. Insurance here is sky high because of these people. Been knocked off my cycle twice by drunks.