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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: November 16th, 2023

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  • -virage-@alien.topBtoExpatsDating is so tough
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    1 year ago

    There is no right or wrong answer here. I have been where you are and it’s world-shattering. Especially when it’s something as simple as geographic location that’s the problem.

    Having seen this happen a few times, I have to ask, are you two getting too far ahead of yourselves? Are you both that set on your future homes? Is this something that’s going to happen in the near future or 5-10 years down the road? Reason I’m asking is that I’ve seen people make these decisions prematurely, only to realize of they had seen it through, a couple years down the road they would have been aligned.

    As for dating in general, there are never any guarantees. Meeting the right person wrong at the wrong time can occur regardless of whether or not you’re expats. It just has a higher probability if one or both of you are in a transitional phase. Does that mean you should put your dating life on hold? No, because you never know who you’re going to meet and whether or not it works out.


  • One question - what do you want from life? Follow up - and can you get that from home?

    Moving to another country, can be an enriching experience. It gives you a more global view and understanding of the world, it pushes you to learn and grow and it sets you outside your comfort zone. It can be great for career growth as well as personal growth.

    That said, moving can also be incredibly challenging. Particularly in a country where you don’t speak the local language and where the culture is a stark contrast from what you’re familiar with.

    End of the day, you need to weigh where you want to get, against where you’re happiest and see which way the equation goes. One thing I’ll say though that the first year is particularly hard. It takes about 2 years to become really familiar with a new country.


  • How do they know that you’re eastern European? How do you know this is based purely on where you’re from and no other reason?

    There could be a multitude of reasons why someone struggles in love, and having an echo chamber for a friend group isn’t helping

    Things like

    • who you’re approaching
    • how you’re approaching
    • what basis you’re connecting on
    • how you treat them

    Will all factor in.

    It’s always harder to date outside one’s own country/culture. There’s often differences in experiences, views, values, expectations … Food. Don’t underestimate food. What might work at home may not work in the new setting or you manage to connect with someone who appreciates it.

    And, there will be some stereotypes and preconceptions that will work against you.

    Hobby and interest groups are often a good way to find people you’ll connect with on a more lasting level.

    Reflect, understand, adapt and be a good human. No matter how amazing you are, and how perfect you think someone is for you, they have every right to disagree and not like you… Accept that and move on.



  • There’s a lot to untangle here but I think there are two key questions you’ll need to answer

    1. are you looking to move permanently or is the goal just to experience somewhere different?
    2. do you expect to continue working in your current (or a related) profession?

    Depending on how you answer you can broaden or greatly shrink your options. If you just want to experience the world, then you don’t need to worry about citizenship. There are some young professional visas out there. Along with some countries that let you stay for quite some time on a tourist visa (i.e. eurozone). An English speaking country will be by far the easiest to adjust to and navigate.

    If you plan on continuing your work in your profession, things might be a bit more complicated. You’ll have to ensure that your education is recognized in the country you’re hoping to live in and how you could go about getting a work visa

    Good luck with the research



  • -virage-@alien.topBtoExpatsDeciding Where to Live
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    1 year ago

    Question - why leave the states altogether instead of moving to another area? Say the Pacific North West?

    Moving countries is HARD and comes with a slew of challenges but can also be very rewarding - I’m a Canadian, person of colour and am currently living in country number 4. Things I’ve noticed that might be helpful

    • ethnic diversity isn’t really a thing in most of the western world. Certain cities in the US and Canada are probably the most diverse you’ll find compared to Europe.

    • I cannot speak for the US but having lived in Vancouver and Toronto, I can safely say we are light years ahead when it comes to racial and gender equality than most of Europe (can’t speak for Scandinavia). Being in Europe is the first time I’ve been treated like a second class citizen.

    • language is a real barrier. Sounds like you’ll need to consider somewhere that is Spanish or English friendly.

    • housing is a shit show in Canada, Australia and New Zealand. At least in the major cities. Heard similar about the UK but that is just hearsay. It’s also starting to get out of hand in many major cities in Germany.

    • be aware that not all education transfers well to other countries. Make sure you verify that your credentials are recognized. Some countries, like Germany, put more emphasis on education than experience.

    Good luck with your search!