I have been living in the UK for 6 years. I initially came here for university and now I work a corporate job in accounting.
Other Eastern European men might be able to relate to the below.
Life in the UK is quite good - I have a large network of friends, mostly expats from my home country and other European countries. I am quite happy with the lifestyle that my salary provides, the work-life balance, the career opportunities for low to mid-level positions, the infrastructure, the lack of bureaucracy, etc.
However, there are is one area of concern: Dating. Dating has proven to be incredibly difficult. From my and my friends’ experience, most British women are not interested in anything beyond a hookup or short-term relationship with someone from Eastern Europe.
Also, from my experience, most Romanian women in my age range in London either moved here together with their partners from Romania, or (usually the more educated, cosmopolitan ones) are either looking for a British partner to better integrate into the culture here, or want to try things with other European expats (typically Western / Southern European) to experience other cultures while they are young. Nothing wrong with that, but that means that the dating prospects for people in my position are quite bleak.
Before you comment saying that there might be something wrong with me personally, I must say that I believe that is not the case. Out of my close group of friends (6 guys), only one has been able to find a relationship here post-university, and that is with a girl from South America. Another one came here with his long-term girlfriend from Romania. They broke up a year ago, and the girl got into a relationship with an Italian guy shortly after, while the guy is still single and not having much success. Therefore, I am not alone in this regard.
My perception is that being from Eastern Europe has a series of negative stereotypes associated with one’s origin if the individual in question is a man, especially when interacting with Western Europeans (from my limited experience, this does not really seem to apply to interactions with Americans). However, for women, that does not seem to be the case (or at least not to the same extent).
Having said that, I am not really sure if the solution would be to move back to my home country, or perhaps try somewhere else. I feel like I would do a lot better in terms of dating, but then I would definitely not be enjoying the lifestyle I currently do in the UK (accounting doesn’t pay much back home) + a plethora of reasons why I left initially.
What are your thoughts on the above? I am more than happy to have my views challenged.
Romanians have a bit of a macho approach to manhood which does not fly in Western Europe as much. I think that given the prejudices that many women have against your nationality, your odds with women would heighten if you made sure to be undeniably not the stereotypical man from Romania they imagine, by which I mean the caricature these women have in their heads.
If that’s indeed the case, show upfront that you’re a feminist, an LGBTQ ally, a pacifist, someone who hates violence and discrimination and fights for justice. This would clear automatic red flags in some women.
Are you in London? Surprised to hear if this is in London
Don’t go for British women, it’s as simple as that. I’m Greek and lived in the UK for years as well. I’m with a south American woman. Much better, closer cultural values, don’t have to deal with negative perceptions or stereotypes etc, and it’s better to be with someone that understands being from a different culture.
Lol on the gaslighting comments… it’s so obvious that the nationality of OP is handicapping him on his dating prospects in the UK… I would try having a larger net OP with your dating prospects, or dating out of the UK.
I didn’t expect anything else. I think people who post these comments also have nothing against people writing ‘no blacks/asians’ in their Tinder bios.
I thought this only happened on grindr profiles and not on tinder? This would be social suicide to do here in the US if you did that in such an obvious way (still happens a lot on grindr but not on heterosexual dating profiles).
Lol nope, I saw quite a few tinder profiles specifically telling man of my nationality not to swipe right
Lol. Man got to love how hypocritical Anglos can be (same thing happens here in the US but people here are hyper polite and they’ll never say it explicitly but they’ll have the same ideal). I haven’t had this happen to me (I am Mexican-American from California) whenever I have tried British women but I generally don’t find British women attractive so it’s mute. I have seen white American girls explicitly say though they wouldn’t ever get with east or south Asian dudes here in San Francisco.
Your situation sounds oddly like Asian men’s situation in Western countries as well, although it’s gotten a bit better for them recently.
I guess advice would be: to get/stay fit, work on communication skills, meet more women, look to other races of women, and keep chugging. Hang in there.
If it helps, I experienced much of the same as a British in another Western European country for many many years.
What I think you’re experiencing is a symptom of common human relationship dynamics - women can easily integrate into other cultures by coupling, but men can’t do the same. Instead they do the opposite
This isn’t to say that it can’t happen, but it’s an uphill struggle as you’ve experienced
Now I’m a Brit back in the UK I’ve got a eastern (central) European partner 🤷
Good luck!
I’m an Irish girl who lived in the UK for a while, and I exclusively date Eastern European men. Don’t know why, but you guys are just the sexiest and funniest, I love you accents and your food. 10/10, I haven’t been with Irish lads in almost ten years and I won’t again.
You will find someone!
Your passport works against you buddy. Cold world
I’ve actually got both a British (naturalised this year) and a Romanian passport
Romanian passport is actually better than an UK passport. The poster can live and work in the whole EEA, and UK in his case. So having British residency and EU citizenship is much better than having a British passport that allows you to live only in the UK and Ireland.
The Public perception works against him
Omg this sub is so unhinged.
Western europe is bad, because ladies don’t want to fuck me. 🤣
Jesus christ.This right here. Leave it to Reddit to downvote the truth. Why is it that when dudes on Reddit can’t get laid, it’s always the fault of the women they’re trying to date? It’s never anything to do with themselves is it? I’m not saying that there is automatically something wrong with a person who posts something like this, but wouldn’t it be great if these thoughts began with introspection rather than outward theories that always seem to be patently ludicrous?
I didn’t say that Western Europe was bad. In fact, I mentioned all the positives, which make me hesitant to go back to my home country.
Obviously, no country can be perfect, so I mentioned one area in which my friends and I are struggling, namely dating.
Is there a problem with my approach?
It’s always easier for women from anywhere than for guys. That said, the UK is probably the easiest place in Europe to date for foreigners, aside from your own country probably,
Yes, exactly, doesn’t get any better, land of English and HIGHLY international. If this guy were in proper Western EU like France and Germany, then he’d get to know what struggle is.
I admit I have prejudice on Eastern European men, as often they don’t understand boundaries, can be aggressive, traditional etc. My safety is more important than trying not to stereotype so there’s that
It is most probably prejudice. A lot of people don’t like dating foreigners either and cultural differences are a thing too. I am a Romanian woman living in the Nederlands and I had problems finding a partner as well. I had lots of Dutch men interested in me though, but while I find them physically attractive and most of them were good people, they don’t attract me at all personality wise due to cultural differences. I am now together with an American and it is a much better match, there is no comparison actually. My suggestion would be for you to try dating other nationalities.
That’s interesting, in what ways do you think Americans are more compatible than Dutch?
The Dutch, for the most part depending on the part of the Netherlands, are blunt to begin with the further north you go, the more common that practice is.
I equate it to the Bostonians of the US.
This came from Dutch people I know, this was not just a random observation. I loved it.
More open, more generous, more emotionally expressive, more warm, more traditional ( which I appreciate).
That’s interesting! Exactly why my partner from Finland found me so appealing (I’m American). However we are not traditional in the slightest and are polyamorous. Everything else I agree on :D
Also, I love Romania. It’s a beautiful country with amazing people and culture. I want to learn the language, too.
I’ve been with an American guy and can’t relate, my experience was different :)
In the end everybody is different, but I think Americans are in general much warmer than Dutch/Germans or Scandinavians.
I guess so. Never dated a German and I can’t imagine dating one. They seem to be decent people, but too " conformist" for my taste? I like to plan things too, I am usually rather serious, but I love being spontaneous too and I collide with the German style of doing everything à la carte. But again, we can’t label a whole nation, we are all individuals
I’m female and British with a Romanian bf of a decade…BUT we met in your homeland, not mine. I’m also not ‘full’ English anyway, with one grandparent coming from Poland. There’s got to be more women like me around though, I’m not that special.
Probably it all depends on what kind of women you are approaching/matching/seeking. I’m not a stereotypical English woman, my bf is not a stereotypical Romanian man either.
I will be honest my friend, I find Eastern Euro men very insecure and meek behind that fake bravado they all have.
I’ve been threatened several times for flirting with Polish women (they were single) and usually approached me (bars, clubs etc)
Not sure why, but hot Polish women usually have atleast one or two friend zoned simps following them around.
Asia is your best bet if you’re white. South Merica is #2