Next year, I’m going to marry my fiancé in the US and going to stay there with him since he’s in the army. I am from Mexico and live with my parents, I’m not independent at all hahah. I’m going to graduate college soon, and I’m really happy about marrying him early next year since I love him so much and miss him dearly. It’s my dream to be with him and live life together.

However, it feels like so many big changes are happening at once for me and it’s really scary and overwhelming. I’m going to marry, move to another country away from my family AND it’s my first time moving out from the nest, which makes it so hard since I’m going to miss my family and pets so painfully much. It’s really hard having such strong mixed feelings of wanting to be with my fiancé but not wanting to move so far away from home. I’m also scared I’ll be lonely there since my fiancé will be at work all day and I’ll be alone, or that somehow I won’t be able to find a job since I’m a foreigner with a foreign degree, etc.

I’d appreciate it so much if anybody has any advice or any tips on how I can make these changes easier, or how I can adapt easier being so far away from home and my family. Maybe anyone that has a similar experience that would help so much if you could share.

Thank you so much. Truly.

  • chilizen1128@alien.topBEnglish
    1·
    1 year ago

    I did the opposite. Moved to Mexico to be with my husband. And I’m just being honest. It’s freaking hard. It sucks sometimes when you have nobody and you don’t know the culture and the area. Not saying it’s impossible but you’ll definitely struggle. Having lived in both countries they are completely opposite.

  • Neat-Composer4619@alien.topBEnglish
    1·
    1 year ago

    I wouldn’t marry someone without some co living 1st, but that’s just me.

    You could travel back and forth a bit after you graduate. You could also wait to have a job before getting married to have economical freedom in case the relationship fails.

    It’s ok to ease into things.

  • jayspeedy24@alien.topBEnglish
    1·
    1 year ago

    One thing you should know about the military is that there is no certainty with job hours or locations. I’ve been the military for 20 years and I’ve held a normal work shift (7am-4pm) for about 2 years total. Those other 18 years were bouncing between working weird off-shifts and deployments. Honestly, I’m just worried about your claim about not being independent…military spouses need to be highly independent because of the frequency of their significant other working off-shifts or going on months long deployments. I hope your fiancé discussed in full about what you’re signing up for because that reality check is going to hit you hard, if you aren’t expecting it. My wife and I did the exact thing you’ll be going through. She is from China and lived with her parents her whole life. We got married and I moved her out to the States to be with me and guess what…a month after being married I got deployed. I’ve deployed 6 times since we’ve been married with the longest one being 5 months. If you really do care and love this man, be there for him IF changes happen and you’re forced to hold the house down while he’s deployed. Its hard on us to leave our families and I promise if you can make it through these upcoming tough times, your family will be happier and stronger once he retires or separates.