How has nomading affected your ability to have long-term and especially committed relationships?

Long-story short: got back with my ex after a 3-year hiatus in which I visited 15+ countries and had countless of romantic encounters.

Now, every time we have an argument or when things get hard, my mind starts to drift away, thinking I should just pack things up, get a ticket to Mexico/Thailand/etc, and seek those hookups again.

I do wonder, having taken the red pill, whether I’ll ever be able to stay in a committed relationship?

How have you guys dealt with this (esp if you’re male)?

  • dancingmywaythrough@alien.topB
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    Ah, that’s perfectly reasonable. When you’re with someone for a long enough time, conflict will inevitably arise. The reason you are seeking your past hookups is not necessarily because they were better, but because in that vacuum of travel, where the setting is beautiful and you just don’t have enough time to really get to know someone long term, the moments feel perfect.

    I know this because some of my most cinematic experiences have been with guys while I was traveling. The novelty of a new place, mixed with the beauty of getting to know them in some of the most beautiful global landmarks. Most of my DN dates ended up becoming my good friends, haha.

    What if you traveled with your partner and built a foundation of excitement with her? It could be your time to focus on building communication and conflict resolution. Alternatively, if you’re really seeking something short term again, you should most likely leave this relationship.

    • BrewedWithAI@alien.topOPB
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      Thank you so for much the constructive feedback! Yes, we are trying to work towards enabling her to be location-independent as well, so I do hope that it helps

  • Vladimir-Putin@alien.topB
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    You sound like you’re kind of a POS who’s stringing a woman along that you don’t really love.

    DNs fall in love all the time and travel the world together. Being in a committed relationship has nothing to do with being mobile. You just need to find someone you care about enough to not dream of random hookups like a selfish prick.

    Obviously you’re not ready to settle in one place.

  • Any_Elk7495@alien.topB
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    Take a moment and realise what you’re experiencing is due to the ease of hookup nature in ‘travel’ destinations.

    If you’re not ready for a relationship, don’t be in one. I’m not and I’m enjoying being single, I’m happy. If you want the hookups and single life, then leave the relationship because it will consume your thoughts. Or just communicate your thoughts (as in this thread) with your partner.

    This has nothing to do with being a DN and everything to do with emotional maturity.

    • captnmiss@alien.top
      cake
      B
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      I’m glad someone said this

      The beauty of a beneficial long-term relationship only comes with work. There are no short cuts.

      OP is living in a fantasy

      I dk whether this story will have any impact or not, but last year I went on a group trip with highly, highly successful people (500m+)

      every. single. one of them was married , and was still married to their partner. They built that success with their partner over decades, and they all had very healthy, loving dynamics.

      It was really eye-opening to see how much a solid partnership can boost your life and your enjoyment of it

      I think it’s well worth the work

    • BrewedWithAI@alien.topOPB
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      This is kind of my fear, though.

      If I’m backing out now, and continue on my previous path, then I’m afraid that I’ll never be able to stay in a relationship - esp considering that I want a family someday.

      • girliegirl80@alien.topB
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        1 year ago

        Idk why you’re getting downvoted. At least you recognize the behavior and damage it could do in the long run.

  • Valor0us@alien.topB
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    Wow, is it possible to have so many traveling experiences and still be closed minded enough to accept an ideology like the red pill? That seems wild to me, but I guess those destined to be sheep will be sheep.

  • SCDWS@alien.top
    cake
    B
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    It is possible. Just look at the popularity of the passport bro movement.