I’m just a bit heartbroken and could do with some support.
My partner and I met in a country that we both are not from (I’ve been here for most of my life, but it is notoriously difficult to get permanent residency here so I am on a work visa). We’ve been dating for a year and he’s everything I’ve wanted, and more.
We’ve had a couple of difficult conversations over the last few days and have realised that there’s no way to make this relationship work. I want to move to a country that he has no interest in going to, and vice versa.
I don’t know how to deal with the pain of knowing that this was the right person, just the wrong time. On top of that, is this my fate as an expat? Should I only date once I know where I want to “settle down”, so to speak?
Been there myself. We both had to accept that it was time limited because we both wanted to pursue other things that weren’t Mutually compatible . At the end we said we will keep in touch and if it’s meant to be we can always reconnect.
After 6 months she moved on and after a year or so , so did I . (Both in our respective new countries)
I’m curious, did you know that you were not compatible from the get-go? Or was that something that you realised over time? I don’t think I could’ve started seriously dating my partner, knowing that there was a deadline.
In fact, I’m starting to feel it already. It may take up to 6 months for either of us to leave, and I already feel the dread of the eventual breakup.
Tbh it was quite brief but we were young and just kind of went with it an try to appreciate the time we had together, knowing that there was probably a deadline, and it was probably going to forever. We kept in touch by email for a couple of years as friends and then just kind of drifted apart anyway. we probably both found someone more suitable at the end but I don’t think either one of us felt like we wasted the time that we were together.
Just to add also, the final few weeks she actually had to crash with me because her rental expired, we had a brief period of domestic life and what could have been. It was definitely bittersweet and we saved our crying until the last possible moment