I have been living in the UK for 6 years. I initially came here for university and now I work a corporate job in accounting.
Other Eastern European men might be able to relate to the below.
Life in the UK is quite good - I have a large network of friends, mostly expats from my home country and other European countries. I am quite happy with the lifestyle that my salary provides, the work-life balance, the career opportunities for low to mid-level positions, the infrastructure, the lack of bureaucracy, etc.
However, there are is one area of concern: Dating. Dating has proven to be incredibly difficult. From my and my friends’ experience, most British women are not interested in anything beyond a hookup or short-term relationship with someone from Eastern Europe.
Also, from my experience, most Romanian women in my age range in London either moved here together with their partners from Romania, or (usually the more educated, cosmopolitan ones) are either looking for a British partner to better integrate into the culture here, or want to try things with other European expats (typically Western / Southern European) to experience other cultures while they are young. Nothing wrong with that, but that means that the dating prospects for people in my position are quite bleak.
Before you comment saying that there might be something wrong with me personally, I must say that I believe that is not the case. Out of my close group of friends (6 guys), only one has been able to find a relationship here post-university, and that is with a girl from South America. Another one came here with his long-term girlfriend from Romania. They broke up a year ago, and the girl got into a relationship with an Italian guy shortly after, while the guy is still single and not having much success. Therefore, I am not alone in this regard.
My perception is that being from Eastern Europe has a series of negative stereotypes associated with one’s origin if the individual in question is a man, especially when interacting with Western Europeans (from my limited experience, this does not really seem to apply to interactions with Americans). However, for women, that does not seem to be the case (or at least not to the same extent).
Having said that, I am not really sure if the solution would be to move back to my home country, or perhaps try somewhere else. I feel like I would do a lot better in terms of dating, but then I would definitely not be enjoying the lifestyle I currently do in the UK (accounting doesn’t pay much back home) + a plethora of reasons why I left initially.
What are your thoughts on the above? I am more than happy to have my views challenged.
I don’t think UK women would refuse Polish, Ukrainian, Estonian men, but they would refuse Romanian or Albanian men. Eastern Europe is a big place.
Poland is in Central Europe, Estonia in Northern Europe, Albania in Southeastern (Balkans) or Southern Europe. (Romania is sometimes considered Southeastern/Balkan or even Central, but it’s a stretch.)
And who decides that, you?
Tell a Polish person they’re from an Eastern European country and see what happens.
If there are two options; West and East, then Poland is in Eastern Europe
Definitely not; I’m Italian, so if you ask me the east-west extent of Europe is, like, Istanbul to Lisbon, and everything west of Paris is western while everything east of Prague is eastern (with southern Italy being detached from its historically eastern identity by several centuries in which the Balkans were Ottoman and southern Italy was Christian and under Western royal dynasties, and with everything east of Istanbul, Kyiv and St Petersburg being terra incognita). But my Polish friends protested the one time I called Poland Eastern European, and from then on I made it a point to remember it’s Central European…
I doubt that most of us western European women would easily be able to tell all those nationalities apart until we get to know you well enough to ask where you’re from.
On a dating app, it’s very easy when people add their languages or where they were born.
In real life, everyone asks where you are from in a casual conversation.
Exactly. It has happened in the past that I received interest and positive signs from British women initially, but then, when the conversation progressed and she eventually asked me where I am from (because I have a bit of an accent and my name is foreign), and I answered ‘Romania’, those positive signs quickly disappeared. Of course, nobody said anything because the British are generally really polite, but you can tell…
There are tons of other cultures and nationalities in the UK. African, Middle Eastern, Asian. Have you tried any women from those cultures? Why do you want a British woman?
I am not picky in terms of culture, it’s just that British women are obviously the majority in the UK
Well maybe try some others just to see if the same stereotypes of Romanians exist for other nationalities?
Yep, I agree. I will definitely put some more effort in that direction.
Although to be honest, I would like to have a long-term relationship (even if it does not result in marriage or something more serious) with a British woman to integrate more into British culture and society and not stay siloed away in the infamous expat bubble.
There are thousands of ways to integrate into a society/culture besides dating natives. One rather simple suggestion is befriending Brits.
Unfortunately British women may prefer someone who is already integrated. This is often the case for expats generally. Try becoming integrated first and then you’ll maybe naturally meet British women with similar interests to your own.
The person you were responding to was pointing you to try dating different racial backgrounds.
You don’t state what ethnic background the British women you’re talking about refer to, so they were making a bit of an assumption or false dichotomy.
Or, you know, British women of African, Middle Eastern and/or Asian heritage.
How do you know what race of British women OP was talking about?
I don’t. By British I meant British nationality, or citizen, or perhaps I don’t have the right word. But I think he assumes that means white? I was suggesting he meet other immigrant groups.
Ah, gotcha.
Brown. They mean brown men.
Well, I’m a British (ish) woman and I’ve gone out with brown men. Although, I wouldn’t consider any of those nationalities brown. I’m not saying there’s no such thing as racism against southern Europeans, but it’s a hell of a generalisation to say that British women generally won’t be interested. It’s not something I’ve ever heard from my female friends either.