I have been living in the UK for 6 years. I initially came here for university and now I work a corporate job in accounting.

Other Eastern European men might be able to relate to the below.

Life in the UK is quite good - I have a large network of friends, mostly expats from my home country and other European countries. I am quite happy with the lifestyle that my salary provides, the work-life balance, the career opportunities for low to mid-level positions, the infrastructure, the lack of bureaucracy, etc.

However, there are is one area of concern: Dating. Dating has proven to be incredibly difficult. From my and my friends’ experience, most British women are not interested in anything beyond a hookup or short-term relationship with someone from Eastern Europe.

Also, from my experience, most Romanian women in my age range in London either moved here together with their partners from Romania, or (usually the more educated, cosmopolitan ones) are either looking for a British partner to better integrate into the culture here, or want to try things with other European expats (typically Western / Southern European) to experience other cultures while they are young. Nothing wrong with that, but that means that the dating prospects for people in my position are quite bleak.

Before you comment saying that there might be something wrong with me personally, I must say that I believe that is not the case. Out of my close group of friends (6 guys), only one has been able to find a relationship here post-university, and that is with a girl from South America. Another one came here with his long-term girlfriend from Romania. They broke up a year ago, and the girl got into a relationship with an Italian guy shortly after, while the guy is still single and not having much success. Therefore, I am not alone in this regard.

My perception is that being from Eastern Europe has a series of negative stereotypes associated with one’s origin if the individual in question is a man, especially when interacting with Western Europeans (from my limited experience, this does not really seem to apply to interactions with Americans). However, for women, that does not seem to be the case (or at least not to the same extent).

Having said that, I am not really sure if the solution would be to move back to my home country, or perhaps try somewhere else. I feel like I would do a lot better in terms of dating, but then I would definitely not be enjoying the lifestyle I currently do in the UK (accounting doesn’t pay much back home) + a plethora of reasons why I left initially.

What are your thoughts on the above? I am more than happy to have my views challenged.

  • sienok@alien.topOPB
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    1 year ago

    Yep, I agree. I will definitely put some more effort in that direction.

    Although to be honest, I would like to have a long-term relationship (even if it does not result in marriage or something more serious) with a British woman to integrate more into British culture and society and not stay siloed away in the infamous expat bubble.

    • No_Sky8000@alien.topB
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      1 year ago

      There are thousands of ways to integrate into a society/culture besides dating natives. One rather simple suggestion is befriending Brits.

      • sienok@alien.topOPB
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        1 year ago

        I agree, although dating a native would definitely help. Why not combine the two (dating + integrating)?

        • No_Sky8000@alien.topB
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          1 year ago

          TBH it just seems like you’re desperate and trying to force it to happen, which is really not an attractive look.

    • Complaintsdept123@alien.topB
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      1 year ago

      Unfortunately British women may prefer someone who is already integrated. This is often the case for expats generally. Try becoming integrated first and then you’ll maybe naturally meet British women with similar interests to your own.