I’ve lived in paris for 5/6 years, I was fluent when I arrived (years of international school) and my mom had already been living here for several years. Still, it was a big culture shock and adjustment and absolutely levelled up my French to the point where now French people usually assume I am from here.
The problem is even with all that, I just don’t feel at home. Some cultural differences feel insurmountable, the blasé and critical attitude is difficult for me, I’ve always been very high energy and jokey and have a hard time finding people in everyday life who match that energy. Whenever I go back to the states I feel so fulfilled and like myself and it really makes me question why I’m here. I have a very cool job in the non-profit sector, so not super well-paid, and a very stable loving relationship, my apartment, my mom… there’s still something where I feel like I’ll never fully be accepted here. I feel like my American-ness immediately puts me down in peoples’ eyes, I feel like I will never write perfectly or totally grasp codes and it will always take me a slight extra effort to understand things that are easy for people here. I don’t get cultural references and I don’t know the clichés of every tiny town and region.
I’m from New York so I liked living here because I felt that Paris was such a better cost of living/quality of life ratio, and I love the work-life balance and accessibility of culture. However, what use are my 5 weeks of vacation if I spend half of them going back home? And probably, I always will, because my missing home will never go away, my friends and family there will keep getting married or getting sick or just being there ?
And France’s descent into xenophobic fascism is not helping. I know all the issues in the US, but it’s different, I am from there and always will be, whereas I am actively choosing to live in France and contribute to its economy.
Just feeling like the jig is up and I did what I had to do, and now I can leave. This is just venting, don’t know if anyone here can relate, if this is a bump in the road or a red alert.
I was in a hostel in Miami and hated this french dude. Total D.
If your from NYC I will say, Philly is pretty affordable. You’ll get the ‘big city’ life at about 1/3rd the price. Rows can be bought in safe neighborhoods for $200k. No way is it close to the ‘big city’ as NY, but bigger than Boston, SF etc and cheaper.
What was the issue with the French dude? personality traits
arrogance
Thanks, pretty much.
yeah, pretty much. I’m older (50) and not at all into any bar/fighting scene, but the guy was a total dick. Probably 25 or so. Hard to explain, just like rude, kinda called me a loser for being 50 going to hostel. I am also from USA so a ‘vacation’ to Miami seemed like a joke to him. I was kinda like, I work buddy, pay a mortgage, had the pandemic the last 3 years and hadn’t traveled, this was kinda my first vacation.
Other things, like a group of 4 of us would be talking, and you know, any time you speak he just talks to the other people to redirect the conversation or something. There was a french girl (they weren’t traveling together), about his age, who I think at first kinda did like me. But she spoke very little English so, for me (along with the age gap) it was just too much of a obstacle. But we still kinda tried to talk and use google translate etc. In fact, she actually approached me (not me to her), and we’d have a brief convo, then he’d jump in in French and it was pretty apparent he was being obnoxious & putting me down to her. Again, I’m 50 years old I’m not getting into fights in hostel bars over a girl.
Night #2 I sat out by myself rolled a joint right outside and smoked it with no F’s given. Let the 3 of them and others have their (non)fun. Could care less.