In a nutshell: I got a new job in a very beautiful European country and I have dragged my 2 kids under 5 with me. It’s been 6months and they’re still struggling with adapting to kindergarten and making friends. Not knowing the language is also a big barrier. My oldest just said to me that she feels very lonely in the kindergarten as she doesn’t know how to communicate with other kids. She terribly misses her friends from our hometown. The new teachers have no compassion, so they’re no help. I try with playdates, but it’s just so difficult to make sustainable relationships.
There are days that I feel very sorry for having to put them through this. I’m currently crying as it’s so hard to process all this. I’m a single mom, btw.
Any parent who has been /is in the same situation? Any adult who has moved to a new country when little? Please share your experiences. Im desperately looking fwd to hearing from you!
Thank you!
Speaking from a psychological perspective, it’s not good to change countries or make big changes in your surroundings for kids period. It’s a harsh truth, but something that’s important to keep in mind. It’s up to your own discretion as a parent to determine whether the change is worth it. If moving will put you in a better situation that will ultimately be better for the children as well, whether thats financially or emotionally or through quality of life etc. then it can still be the better choice. But the negative impacts can not be denied.
Can you say more about this? I know kids thrive in a routine, but ‘no changes whatsoever’ seems pretty drastic.
I’m not saying no changes whatsoever, but a big move is going to have an impact. Just like a family death, divorce, etc. How big and negative that impact will be of course also depends on how well you support your children.
If you want to know more about this, I suggest looking for information on attachment theory! That is what most of this is about.
What’s the best way to support them when going through a move?