I can’t speak from personal experience, but my dad and his two younger sisters were moved to Austria right after their dad died at 13, 11, and 9. They did not speak the language before going and it was obviously a very challenging time in their lives. That being said, all three of them look back fondly on their time there.

We come to the NL with our 3yo and a 6 month old. It took the 3yo about a year to learn the language, but day care def helped because they could speak English to him when needed. I’m sure it’s hard, but kids are sponges so they will pick up the language and they will get used to the differences. 6 months is very recent, give it time. See if there’s any support from your local council, ours did provide language support by sending a tutor one hour per week.

Focus on language. they will make friends esp if it is early. you may want to connect to other expat as a relief

We moved a few months ago to Iceland with our 5 and 8 year old. While they are both obviously just starting to learn the language, the school has done a great job of making them feel welcome and helping them bond with other children. We were a little surprised how many children speak English here. It seems very common. Both of our children have made friends though. And they both love all the extracurricular activities here. My 5 year old has been loving wood shop so much we are getting here a wood working kids set for her birthday. And my older one loves pottery. If you feel your kids are having a hard time adjusting, I would suggest talking to the school about it. Our older daughter was having a hard time in the first few weeks of school with missing her best friend. She loves the school counselor, and has a few new friends.

I would recommend an au pair, one that can match the kids energy and speak both English and your target language. Then the kids aren’t lonely and you have your sanity.

Which country?

If it’s Norway or another Scandinavian the problem isn’t you. It’s the society and culture.

We have 3 little ones and we are both not from this country. I’m from US and she is from Spain.

Give it time be patient and persistent but not demanding. Once you finally break the shell there are some lovely loyal and true friends out there. For you and your kids.

Is it France by any chance?

I did that twice when my daughter was 3 and 6 and yes, it was very difficult for her at first. But each time after a few months, she started making friends and using the local language. It helped that her teachers were always benevolent and doing their best to help her adapt. After about a year, she was perfectly fluent in both languages and started making friends.

So it’s perfectly normal for them to have a hard time, but if it keeps being a problem after a year, it may be worth investigating to know what’s wrong. Like their language proficiency (make sure they learn it asap). Or bullying at school, by kids and adults alike. I grew up in France and I can tell you bullying is a massive problem there.

Also, socializing with parents at your kids’ schools is also important if you want to organize playdates imho. Not becoming friends, but at least be able to organize playdates and sometimes go out with the kids.

My family moved to the US when I was 3. I’m not sure how it happened, but by the time I was 5, I was more fluent in English than my native language. I’m very grateful now for the experience because being bilingual opens the world in so many ways.

I know a few people who immigrated to another country when they were pre-elementary school and they all were fluent within a couple of years. Kids that age seem to soak up languages without even trying.

I’m sure she is having a hard time right now, but I think she will be fine in a year or so.

Speaking from a psychological perspective, it’s not good to change countries or make big changes in your surroundings for kids period. It’s a harsh truth, but something that’s important to keep in mind. It’s up to your own discretion as a parent to determine whether the change is worth it. If moving will put you in a better situation that will ultimately be better for the children as well, whether thats financially or emotionally or through quality of life etc. then it can still be the better choice. But the negative impacts can not be denied.

Hiiii grown up expat brat here! Lived in Asia, Australia, and back to Asia (where I ultimately graduated high school). Moving at the time sucked, for sure. My younger siblings (and myself until I was 13) were mostly cool with it. Teenage years were hard. Moving into grade 9 as a newbie at a small international school was really tough. I experienced a lot of bullying/cliques. As an adult - I’m SO GLAD I moved around a lot as a kid and had the experiences I did. I’m based in Los Angeles now, and work in entertainment. The skill set I gained as an expat kid has made set hopping so easy. I travel a lot for work and can always hit the ground running. Currently in Asia visiting family, and it’s interesting to see my partner (born and raised in the same town) struggle with things that my brother and I (he’s traveling with us) find super easy. Also I have friends around the world now. So yeah, team: it’s an amazing thing in the long run

Hiiii grown up expat brat here! Lived in Asia, Australia, and back to Asia (where I ultimately graduated high school). Moving at the time sucked, for sure. My younger siblings (and myself until I was 13) were mostly cool with it. Teenage years were hard. Moving into grade 9 as a newbie at a small international school was really tough. I experienced a lot of bullying/cliques. As an adult - I’m SO GLAD I moved around a lot as a kid and had the experiences I did. I’m based in Los Angeles now, and work in entertainment. The skill set I gained as an expat kid has made set hopping so easy. I travel a lot for work and can always hit the ground running. Currently in Asia visiting family, and it’s interesting to see my partner (born and raised in the same town) struggle with things that my brother and I (he’s traveling with us) find super easy. Also I have friends around the world now. So yeah, team: it’s an amazing thing in the long run

If you speak the local language, use it at home.

If you don’t speak the local language, learn it really fast so you can speak it at home.

Hey. I’m glad you’re really considerate of your children’s wellbeing. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Change is always challenging.

2 things: I understand how these circumstances make your children uncomfortable in school but this might be the perfect Circumstance for them to learn the language which will be of immense importance if you decide to stay. The difficult part is walking this journey with them of integrating into the culture.

Secondly, apart from this particular issue, are you willing to stay in this country long term? If the answer is yes then it might be worth trying to get your kids to invest in learning the language. If you can, getting help from a child psychologist could help if things get really bad.

I know that this issue might be the biggest reason why you may decide to leave and that’s also ok. You could also give yourself a set amount of time like a year or 2 that if nothing positive can be observed, you could decide to move back.

Again, learning the language is important for integration and socializing. If you think your kids are unwilling to do that then you need to decide what’s good for them in terms of their adult future prospects wherever you settle.

I’ll be praying for you

Moved my kids when I had one older child, a toddler and an infant. They all did well, and years later they’re all now living in three different places and not once have they complained. Quite the opposite.

I honestly don’t think these things actually bother kids half as much as they bother adults.

Go back for your children