When I am faced with a decision this big, and can’t decide what I really want, I imagine having the choice taken away from me. Whichever option hits me in the gut the worst, I take as the one I really can’t live without.

So ask yourself, if the option to go home was taken away forever, how would that feel? What about if the option to stay was taken away forever?

For me, right now where I am at (American living in Canada) if I was deported that would hit much harder than if the U.S. decided to ban me and strip away my citizenship. I just really do not want to go back. So the choice feels easy. The thought of Canada kicking me out is far worse.

So far this winter it’s been mostly sun. I happen to like the rain and find dark days cozy so I enjoy winter. But yes, seasonal affective disorder is a problem for many people. I have found though that having the right gear to get out in cold and wet means you can still enjoy exercise and fresh air, which helps with mood. My partner definitely benefits and is no longer as bothered by the darkness. We camp and hike all year, although it’s not terribly cold in our part of Canada. It might get to -15c in the mountains in the lower mainland but usually it’s not much below -5 or -10c. Other parts of Canada are much colder but not as wet so more sun and easier to stay comfortable with the right clothes.

I’m in BC so winters and summers are relatively mild, but winter in Quebec is cold.

I sympathize with your concern over going back to the U.S. and then regretting that choice. It’s easy to go back and hard to leave. Can you leave for a few months without messing up your status in France? I would probably opt for a test run if it didn’t mess up my status abroad.

Can I recommend Canada? Your French skills open up additional immigration options and my experience in anglophone Canada is that it’s like 3% off from the U.S. Quebec may be a bit more different but my guess is that it’s still more American than you feel in Paris.

As an American who really has zero interest in living in the U.S. anymore, Canada feels very much like home but with more responsive government (to social issues) and much safer. Plus you can just drive across the border if you really need a moment with your people.