I’ve had two kids in Australia. Both my wife and I are American.
I don’t care if they identify as American. I don’t particularly identify with it either, aside from an anxiety about its political future.
Not having family around has been brutal. They still visit, but it’s been a rough few years. We never get a break unless we pay through the nose for a babysitter and our house is always a tip because we can’t keep up with chores.
Similar boat to you. Missed my seeing both my father and grandmother for the last time by minutes because of how long it took to get back to Connecticut from Australia. But I hate being dependent on cars, the U.S. gun culture, the threat of theocrats, health care costs, and poor work-life balance. Australia has its problems, like cost of living and poor quality housing, but the choice to stay here is still easy.