Hey there, currently facing a dilemma.

I’m not able to go back to my origin country for the holidays due to money, scheduling, flying in the winter being miserable, being horribly depressed just stuck in my parents house, and a friend recently moving to my new country and wanting to be there for them.

How do I even begin to tell my family that I’m not coming back? They’re trying to include me in a gift exchange (without having asked…), and just fully expect me to come back like I did last year. I’ve told them I don’t know about vacation time yet, but I’m not really sure what to say at this point.

Do I just lie and say I couldn’t get the time approved? Or do I tell the truth that I just don’t want to do all that travel and spend all that money…

  • TheMostElusiveMan@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    I got tired of spending $15,000+ to drag my wife and kids half way around the world so the family could see us, when they are retired and have money and I’m trying to put something away… So I told them they could hop a plane and come see us.

    Decades later and still waiting, so I guess it wasn’t that important after all.

    • ant1010@alien.topB
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      1 year ago

      My family couldn’t be bothered to do the 11-hour drive… It was always us expected to go visit. Moving overseas basically changed nothing because it did not increase the frequency at which visits happened. If anything, it increased the effort that people put into trying to call and video…

    • coffeecatmint@alien.topB
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      1 year ago

      Same. And 7 years later we went back once more to gather our belongings… but my MIL still isn’t interested in visiting

    • Succi87@alien.topB
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      1 year ago

      My parents only visited me like 3 times when I was living only 60km (around 38 miles) from them, and was working full-time while they were retired. Emigrated 2 years ago, now they want to visit in half a year for the very first time, because my sister wanted to visit and she is paying for them. Had she not offered this, they would never visit.

    • maracay1999@alien.topB
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      1 year ago

      Yep. I’ve been abroad 5 years. My parents have visited me once. One friend from my hometown has visited me once ever. I put in way more effort seeing them 1-2x a year than they do to see me….

      So when I need to save money I don’t mind backing down for one year.