Hey there, currently facing a dilemma.
I’m not able to go back to my origin country for the holidays due to money, scheduling, flying in the winter being miserable, being horribly depressed just stuck in my parents house, and a friend recently moving to my new country and wanting to be there for them.
How do I even begin to tell my family that I’m not coming back? They’re trying to include me in a gift exchange (without having asked…), and just fully expect me to come back like I did last year. I’ve told them I don’t know about vacation time yet, but I’m not really sure what to say at this point.
Do I just lie and say I couldn’t get the time approved? Or do I tell the truth that I just don’t want to do all that travel and spend all that money…
I’ve been there. And I know exactly what this feels like. Honestly, just tell them some version of the truth, even if it’s not the whole truth. Telling them you’re short on cash is true, but they may offer to pay for your flight, so you can’t rely on that alone.
Instead, tell them you are looking forward to experiencing Christmas in your new community. Tell them you have a friend who you don’t want to see them spend it alone. And tell them you’ll dial in of a video call. They need to understand that now that you’re in a different country, they can’t expect your return every year.
The first time you do this, it will be hard. Family will feel betrayed and disappointed. But soon they’ll understand. But it’s better to do it sooner rather than closer to Christmas though.