I’ve been abroad for 13 years now. I am an only child and can only spend 2-3 weeks at home per year because of my work. So when my parents visit me, they usually stay 2 weeks and we just chill. I do suffer a lot from expat guilt, those few weeks per year are very valuable to me.

I’ve been with my partner (who is a local) for a while but he only recently met my parents because of the pandemic. He tried learning my language but failed, and my parents barely understand English. Last time we all stayed together for 2 days and it was just awkward. I felt like everyone had the best intentions but my parents weren’t very comfortable, and my partner was awkward too. Because of the language barrier and barely knowing each other, they didn’t really warm up to each other.

I really want to move in with my partner, but I don’t want my parents to feel like guests in our shared flat. I have never lived with a partner before, but i guess i can’t really force him to speak another language or stay elsewhere so I can properly catch up with my parents. It would also be kinda awkward to have my parents to stay in a hotel, because we have so little time together. I don’t know what to do, who to talk to first, or how to solve this.

  • Accprova@alien.topBEnglish
    1·
    1 year ago

    I don’t speak the native language of my girlfriend’s parents, and her mother speaks very little English. That didn’t stop us from having a great time when we visited her country.

    • it’s my girlfriend’s family time, not mine. I was there just minding my own business while she chatted with her mother. As an introvert, I was totally fine with that.

    • Whenever I would be involved in the conversation, my girlfriend would just be the translator.

    • Me and her mother could communicate via the universal language of affection: food. She would cook, I would eat (a lot), everyone is happy.

    • A few times my girlfriend visited alone, while I explored the city by myself. I even did a solo weekend trip ti a nearby city so that they could spend some time doing mother-daughter activities without having to entertain me as well.

    All that to say: everything is possible. If you guys have space to host your parents, then talk with your partner and try to suggest some of the things you read here.