After spending my entire 20s and early 30s abroad i covered some serious ground working in Canada, Ireland, Cambodia, Honduras, Dubai, UK and most recently the Netherlands. I landed in the Netherlands 3 months before the pandemic broke out and was barred from my country Australia for years which did a number on my mental health with my mum unwell and i unable to return. I finally got a repatriation flight home and was in Australia working remotely for a year for the same Dutch company. I started to question returning to The Netherlands but with the sudden outbreak of the war in Ukraine and the fear of getting locked out of Australia again i was apprehensive, so i went and worked remotely in Bali and thought i might start a business and set up there as an option. My Dutch visa unexpectadly got revoked and i was suddenly devastated over the loss of it and everything i invested so hard in. I ended up with a severe mental health decline called burnout and had to return to Australia. Ive now been back in Australia recovering for 9 months and it’s not the place i thought or remember it to be. Friends have all moved on, even family members have their own lives, the lack of culture, innovation and it,'s isolation from the rest of the world gets me down. It’s so quiet here not much really happens. I know i probably sound spoilt and negative but im really struggling with life here and miss the Netherlands and being in Europe. Ive tried to find a partner for years and settle down somewhere but it doesnt seem to work out for me and i cant find anyone. Im female 33 now and feel like i missed the boat on relationships, family or having an interesting life. I guess being an expat for over 10 years has left my heart in too many places and i feel i belong no where anymore. I dont know what to do now since Australia is not giving me what i want, maybe i should try to move abroad again and try to find a partner somewhere else and settle down. Any experiences or perspectives on trying to settle down again would be helpful. I have no idea what to do anymore or am i just destined to be stuck like this forever.
hey mate I just came across your post.
funny because I’m an Australian (33M) living in the Netherlands. I’m alone here, and sometimes it does feel like you’ve “missed the boat”. i can tell you that it’s not easy sometimes not to be able to visit your family members on a whim.
sometimes i jokingly tell myself I’m this guy in this Japanese fairy tale: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urashima_Tar%C5%8D basically when you went away, you had fun, lost track of time, and when you return, everyone has moved on.
i was stuck here during the pandemic, but have gone back and visited twice since the borders reopened. i love travelling (sounds like you do too), and that’s what’s keeping me here. it does feel funny going back to oz though. you’ll still have your old friends, but they might not give you the same attention as before - because they’re also busy and have to work and a family to attend to. it’s not personal. when you go back for a holiday, they make an effort to catch up. but if you’re back home permanently, then you know it’s not like they’ll come visit you every week. the grass is always greener on the other side. there has been quite some posts of aussies/kiwis missing home and wanting to go back, and when they’re back they want to leave again.
if i can advise you on some things, is to put your mental health first, prioritise your family and friends.
i tell you what, see if you can get a remote job. if you can, then you can split 6 months in each country for now, for the next two or three years. then see what happens.
come say hi when you happen to be in Delft or Brisbane ;)