Just visited my home country (EU) and I am now returning to my expat country (US) and a wave of depression hit me.

I never considered myself to be very attached to my family or my country but after three years and now finally coming back to visit, last night I was extremely depressed. I created an overall good life for myself in the US and I don’t think I would ever see myself coming back to the EU to live permanently, but now I am at the airport leaving and I can’t help but feel an overwhelming sadness.

I’m wondering what experiences other people had in regards to this. Does it get easier? And is leaving after visiting always this sad?

  • Longjumping-Basil-74@alien.topBEnglish
    1·
    1 year ago

    I can’t go back to my country so I have never visited it since I left, which has been a very long time ago. It might sound dramatic but I consider myself lucky because I have never had an option to return and visit, and could fully focus on resettling in another place and making it a new home - which I did, and it’s my only home now, and I can’t care less about the past.

    Here is a thought - you might feel this way about your family and people you have seen when you were back, not the country itself. It’s almost always about people. Ask them to come to your next time.

  • Pipetting_hero@alien.topBEnglish
    1·
    1 year ago

    I always get really stressed when i am in my home country and cant imagine myself living there at all. Now i overstayed and i find myself feeling like my lifebis in danger that i will get stuck here somehow and my life will end. Although i havent built a life as i want abroad i cant think of returning back ever.

  • Yourmominatotebag@alien.topBEnglish
    1·
    1 year ago

    Yeah I had this and it’s because my family didn’t give me that warm fuzzy feeling, and my friends had moved on with their lives. It didn’t get easier for me, I should’ve further separated myself from my home country 🤦🏻‍♀️ Hope it gets easier for you.

  • SpeckledPomegranate@alien.topBEnglish
    1·
    1 year ago

    I guess it depends on the person. I’m always excited to return home. Traveling is very nice and especially seeing new places but the best part is always returning home. Back to your routines and all.

    • Secret_Aside1556@alien.topBEnglish
      1·
      1 year ago

      I never thought of it that way, I have my first trip to my home country soon, and I have a feeling it will be hard. So, that’s a good thing to keep in mind.

  • Banitsa77@alien.topBEnglish
    1·
    1 year ago

    It can be so hard going home when you realise that the world is just getting on without you and the life that you knew there no longer really exists. As others have said a lot depends upon your personal circumstances but whichever way you slice it the nostalgia and sense of loss can be tough. Hope it starts to dissipate when you go back to your new home.

  • Sassywhat@alien.topBEnglish
    1·
    1 year ago

    Eventually the world at “home” moves on without you so far, that when you visit, you realize moving back wouldn’t be “returning” home, but starting over in a new home where you happen to have a lot of connections.

    Whether this is sad, bittersweet, or happy, is up to you.

    • spetznatz@alien.topBEnglish
      1·
      1 year ago

      Yeah, bittersweet is the feeling I had returning to visit my country of origin after a few years away

  • wesleyD777@alien.topBEnglish
    1·
    1 year ago

    I am from the UK originally but left 35 years ago and have never lived back there since. I am from a poor provincial town. It depresses the hell out of me to go home, I find it ugly and dirty in many places, the people are downtrodden and cynical and the quality of life is decreasing by the year.

    The sheer cost of living in the UK now is off the charts coupled with the cost of housing people are so badly squeezed. I can manage a week at most before I am totally depressed.

    I am always so happy to be heading back to the airport to get the hell out.

    • Omeluum@alien.topBEnglish
      1·
      1 year ago

      😂😂 this was my first thought too. Never felt so relieved getting on an airplane for a 12h flight with a 4 year old as after that “vacation” at my parents’ house.

    • emem_xx@alien.topBEnglish
      1·
      1 year ago

      Same, I feel like I have to because of family, but if it was up to me, I probably wouldn’t go.

  • ask_me_about_my_band@alien.topBEnglish
    1·
    1 year ago

    I only find it hard because it’s become increasingly difficult to relate to the US anymore. Ever time I visit I relate less and less to America in general. In some ways I feel like a person without a country.

  • Shinizzle6277@alien.topBEnglish
    1·
    1 year ago

    Both of my countries, where I do live now and where my family is, that’s EU zone. I am honestly limiting my visits because it’s just feels sad, like I am more of a guest and not necessarily a family member anymore. I would say too, living abroad gave me more perspective, opportunities, and also I know that I can permit myself way more than back home.

    • omniaamorr@alien.topOPBEnglish
      1·
      1 year ago

      I think I realized I missed my home country and my family more than I thought. It’s part of it, though. I also moved alone when I was very young and that most likely contributes to it.

      • diabeartes@alien.topBEnglish
        1·
        1 year ago

        What is your “home country”? That might make it easier for others to understand where the problem might lie.

  • Tasha0705@alien.top
    BEnglish
    1·
    1 year ago

    I feel this on so many levels, OP. Likewise visited my home country recently and the yearning to be back there is very strong despite the life I have built, the pull of being with family (I’m the only one who lives in the UK), the sense of belonging and community is overwhelming and I’m strongly considering returning to my roots.