Just visited my home country (EU) and I am now returning to my expat country (US) and a wave of depression hit me.
I never considered myself to be very attached to my family or my country but after three years and now finally coming back to visit, last night I was extremely depressed. I created an overall good life for myself in the US and I don’t think I would ever see myself coming back to the EU to live permanently, but now I am at the airport leaving and I can’t help but feel an overwhelming sadness.
I’m wondering what experiences other people had in regards to this. Does it get easier? And is leaving after visiting always this sad?
Every time I have visited my home country I would bawl my eyes out. And I am not one to cry very often. I can’t live there because crime and opportunities make it difficult. The last time I visited I had 3 grandparents and knew it could be the last time I saw them. I now have one grandparent left. And that one has dementia so I feel like I have lost them already.
I love the country I have my citizenship in now. I don’t see myself as patriotic and even living in my birth country I never saw myself as patriotic. So it’s weird how sad I feel when I leave.