Long story short, I got ridiculously homesick over the past 3 years and decided it was time to go and visit family. It literally wasn’t financially possible to go with my wife, but everyone seems to be commenting on the fact that I came alone?
It’s like ‘it’s great to see you, but it would have been nice to see you with your wife’ and ‘isn’t your wife sad that you came without her?’
The way me and my wife saw it was that all of my friends and family are in this country, whereas hers are in the place we decided to live in. If we don’t have much money, then it’s better I go solo as it’s important to make sure I’m not the one suffering with homesickness, because my time is limited with friends and family whereas she can see hers any time.
Anyone else here experienced the same type of judgement/opinions from others who seem to say stuff that makes you feel guilty for going alone? Was it actually selfish of me? I’m getting all these passing comments from people on both sides and it makes me feel that I’m being bitched about a bit
You and your wife should be ok with the decision. No one else has input. If this is what works, then this is what works.
But your wife is family. She should come because your family is her family and she also has to visit them. She should develop her own relationships with these people. That’s what makes it strange. If she misses a visit once or twice, it’s not a big deal. But if your partner hasn’t seen your family in years and it’s a pattern, yeah then over time your spouse becomes a stranger to your family. You develop relationships that your spouse isn’t part of ever. I’m guessing these people are important to you. And if you have kids they won’t get it. They’ll ask why. They will see the choices and ask why this parent chooses to use their vacation like this without them.
But everyone needs to visit their own family. If the partner won’t go it’s not a reason not to go yourself. Don’t feel guilty.
Living abroad is complicated.