I’ve lived in paris for 5/6 years, I was fluent when I arrived (years of international school) and my mom had already been living here for several years. Still, it was a big culture shock and adjustment and absolutely levelled up my French to the point where now French people usually assume I am from here.
The problem is even with all that, I just don’t feel at home. Some cultural differences feel insurmountable, the blasé and critical attitude is difficult for me, I’ve always been very high energy and jokey and have a hard time finding people in everyday life who match that energy. Whenever I go back to the states I feel so fulfilled and like myself and it really makes me question why I’m here. I have a very cool job in the non-profit sector, so not super well-paid, and a very stable loving relationship, my apartment, my mom… there’s still something where I feel like I’ll never fully be accepted here. I feel like my American-ness immediately puts me down in peoples’ eyes, I feel like I will never write perfectly or totally grasp codes and it will always take me a slight extra effort to understand things that are easy for people here. I don’t get cultural references and I don’t know the clichés of every tiny town and region.
I’m from New York so I liked living here because I felt that Paris was such a better cost of living/quality of life ratio, and I love the work-life balance and accessibility of culture. However, what use are my 5 weeks of vacation if I spend half of them going back home? And probably, I always will, because my missing home will never go away, my friends and family there will keep getting married or getting sick or just being there ?
And France’s descent into xenophobic fascism is not helping. I know all the issues in the US, but it’s different, I am from there and always will be, whereas I am actively choosing to live in France and contribute to its economy.
Just feeling like the jig is up and I did what I had to do, and now I can leave. This is just venting, don’t know if anyone here can relate, if this is a bump in the road or a red alert.
tldr; move somewhere else within France and live a happy and peaceful life.
Born and bred French checking in. I grew up in Southern France. Trust me when I say that Paris is an absolute shithole. It’s an overpriced, overhyped, crowded, filthy, loud, exausting dump. Paris sucks the life out of people, chew them out and spit them. I don’t understand why this city is a magnet and attracts so many folks from North America. It really boggles my mind. You guys should stop watching movies like Emily in Paris and Amelie Poulain. These movies depict a life in Paris that is long gone for 99% the population and simply doesn’t exist anymore.
France is a big country. Honestly you should gtfo of Paris and move to another region: Provence, Basque Country, Britanny, Normandy, heck even Cantal is a zillion times better than Ile de France.
To tell you the truth, I also lived/worked in Paris for 3 years as it’s a sort of rite of passage for many French young graduates. I just couldn’t up with this place after only 2 years and was looking for a way out. We left when our daughter was born for Nice right before COVID hit in 2019. Best decision ever. You’d have to pay me a fortune to go back to Paris and work/live there again. I still have family there and I dread the moment we have to get on the TGV to visit them (about once a year).