I’ve lived in paris for 5/6 years, I was fluent when I arrived (years of international school) and my mom had already been living here for several years. Still, it was a big culture shock and adjustment and absolutely levelled up my French to the point where now French people usually assume I am from here.
The problem is even with all that, I just don’t feel at home. Some cultural differences feel insurmountable, the blasé and critical attitude is difficult for me, I’ve always been very high energy and jokey and have a hard time finding people in everyday life who match that energy. Whenever I go back to the states I feel so fulfilled and like myself and it really makes me question why I’m here. I have a very cool job in the non-profit sector, so not super well-paid, and a very stable loving relationship, my apartment, my mom… there’s still something where I feel like I’ll never fully be accepted here. I feel like my American-ness immediately puts me down in peoples’ eyes, I feel like I will never write perfectly or totally grasp codes and it will always take me a slight extra effort to understand things that are easy for people here. I don’t get cultural references and I don’t know the clichés of every tiny town and region.
I’m from New York so I liked living here because I felt that Paris was such a better cost of living/quality of life ratio, and I love the work-life balance and accessibility of culture. However, what use are my 5 weeks of vacation if I spend half of them going back home? And probably, I always will, because my missing home will never go away, my friends and family there will keep getting married or getting sick or just being there ?
And France’s descent into xenophobic fascism is not helping. I know all the issues in the US, but it’s different, I am from there and always will be, whereas I am actively choosing to live in France and contribute to its economy.
Just feeling like the jig is up and I did what I had to do, and now I can leave. This is just venting, don’t know if anyone here can relate, if this is a bump in the road or a red alert.
Well you sound like you haven’t been following America’s degradation since 2016. This is classic gaslighting on your part, by the way. Just saying “LOL” as the GOP burns the country to the ground is what’s really teenagerish here.
The past four years under Biden haven’t been stellar bub…
Last I checked when Trump left inflation wasn’t wild, there wasn’t a cost of living crisis, interest rates weren’t prohibitive, we we weren’t in a proxy war with Russia. The ME was a much more peaceful place as well. But yah, orange man bad, mean tweets, Jan 6th (have you watched the newly released videos? LOL, don’t it’ll smash your perception of the so-called insurrection), etc etc.
“It is blood which moves the wheels of history” -Donald Trump…I mean Benito Mussolini (actual fascist).
I fully agree with you. I think that the people disagreeing with your thoughts either 1) lack perspective or 2) are too arrogant to believe that America’s right-wing elements have and continue to hurt and disenfranchise fellow Americans. Classic lack of empathy and critical thinking skills.