I’ve lived in paris for 5/6 years, I was fluent when I arrived (years of international school) and my mom had already been living here for several years. Still, it was a big culture shock and adjustment and absolutely levelled up my French to the point where now French people usually assume I am from here.
The problem is even with all that, I just don’t feel at home. Some cultural differences feel insurmountable, the blasé and critical attitude is difficult for me, I’ve always been very high energy and jokey and have a hard time finding people in everyday life who match that energy. Whenever I go back to the states I feel so fulfilled and like myself and it really makes me question why I’m here. I have a very cool job in the non-profit sector, so not super well-paid, and a very stable loving relationship, my apartment, my mom… there’s still something where I feel like I’ll never fully be accepted here. I feel like my American-ness immediately puts me down in peoples’ eyes, I feel like I will never write perfectly or totally grasp codes and it will always take me a slight extra effort to understand things that are easy for people here. I don’t get cultural references and I don’t know the clichés of every tiny town and region.
I’m from New York so I liked living here because I felt that Paris was such a better cost of living/quality of life ratio, and I love the work-life balance and accessibility of culture. However, what use are my 5 weeks of vacation if I spend half of them going back home? And probably, I always will, because my missing home will never go away, my friends and family there will keep getting married or getting sick or just being there ?
And France’s descent into xenophobic fascism is not helping. I know all the issues in the US, but it’s different, I am from there and always will be, whereas I am actively choosing to live in France and contribute to its economy.
Just feeling like the jig is up and I did what I had to do, and now I can leave. This is just venting, don’t know if anyone here can relate, if this is a bump in the road or a red alert.
Fake. No very well paid job + your own apartment in Paris is just not possible. Unless your job is much better paid than most jobs in France. ;)
Apart from that, if you’re not blasé, yeah staying in Paris is probably not a good idea.
I don’t agree about the lack of high-energy people there though. When I lived there, I found many of them and they annoyed me with their joie de vivre. Very ennuyeux.
Finally, France is indeed descending very fast into fascism. There’s absolutely zero doubt now. I think it’s a very legit reason to leave the country, because it will get much worse in the future.
you are right, definitely better paid than a lot of people here, but yeah can’t really save and its less than half the smallest US salary of any of my friends in similar education level / career paths
yeah you can absolutely find high energy people, its maybe more of a work culture / everyday like errands thing where people are not as “bubbly,” its not even something i always have a problem with tbh but when i’m down about paris its something i think about!
But the thought that the US will be better? This defies belief. Even were someone like Le Pen or Zemmour to ascend to the presidency, at least you have a coherent (if fractious) French left to stymie the worst of their nativist policies. America has no such thing - only corporate bagmen and racist flag-shaggers.