Berlin is very difficult. Hundreds of people are trying for the same apartment. It’s worse than job hunting.

Spain is wonderful. It’s reasonably easy to do what you suggest. I think you will love it.

It’s normal for expats to reach their saturation point abroad and need to go home. It sounds like you reached yours. As an expat no one ever feels completely accepted. Or if they do they are the exception. You will also not feel totally home when home. But being home can help with what you feel now. You may expat again after a few years home, likely someplace different. It gets addictive. It’s nice to be able to come home & reconnect with family and friend and be where you are welcome. But it will always be a little different. Everyone I know who loved living in Paris hates leaving Paris.

It’s difficult to get permission to live long term in another country that has a good social support network. Also the governments of those countries don’t want people from everywhere moving there for that so even if they give you permission to live there it can take time before you have any right to their affordable healthcare, child subsidies or pension. It’s also more expensive than it seems to get established. Housing tends to be harder to obtain when a foreigner and many ideal locations are experiencing a greater shortage of housing than the US.

No one is safe from war. Some of the countries where safety is high believe they are safe from war but the truth is they will fail quickly if things fall apart.

In the US it is easy to move around and find many communities that don’t have exacerbated problems with serious crimes.

When I lived abroad I planned for it to be temporary. But everyone assumes you are looking for a way to make it permanent. Many think you should. Others do things to discourage that. While I didn’t plan to stay, the temptation was there. But the stress of never being certain of my right to keep living there was always on my mind. That impacted a lot of decisions. I don’t want to live someplace long term with notions of permanency where I could easily lose my right to reside there and be expected to expatriate quickly with children in tow. But that’s me. A lot of people do fine living like this.

Every place has its ups and downs. There may not be gun violence but there is still a lot of crime and violence in places that doesn’t get attention in the media. You don’t necessarily have the right to defend yourself if attacked and can be held liable for injuring your attacker. Which encourages that type of violence.

There are no utopias. There are pros and cons. There are places that are better for raising children than others and for growing old. But all of that can change in a matter of years. It’s difficult to try out a place before committing to it but it’s wise if there’s a way.