I was born in Canada while my mom was born in Hong Kong and my dad was born in France. They both immigrated to Canada which is where they met.
Growing up was a bit weird for me. Here a lot of kids had immigrant parents, but I was the only one with parents from different countries with completely different cultures. The biggest issue was both of my parents had to communicate with each other in a language that was foreign to both of them, so expressing feelings during fights was hard. My dad learnt English in his teens while my mom learnt English in her 20s, so I could tell my mom would struggle more.
People always ask me how I don’t know my parents mother tongues if I’m an immigrant child and think I was just too lazy to learn it, but no one understands all I grew up hearing was English because my parents couldn’t speak each others languages. I knew a decent amount when I was younger, but I believe it created jealously between my parents. They didn’t have a healthy relationship so they’d use me to ‘spy and translate’ what they were saying on the phone, and they didn’t like it if I spoke to only one parent in their language because the other parent wouldn’t understand and would think we’re hiding something from them. I believe most couples would make an effort to learn and teach a bit of each other’s languages, but mine never did. My parent’s families all still live back home so that didn’t help either. This makes me very sad, there’s always a barrier even when I talk to my parents even now. I always feel like I could communicate and understand them better if I spoke their languages.
When I got older we visited some of my dad’s family, but I can tell my mom never feels fully welcomed. I can also tell both of my parents long for their home countries badly but know they can’t ever really move back. It makes me sad too but the truth is a 3rd country is the only way both feel equal. To be honest I’m happy I was born and raised in Canada rather than one of my parents countries, I think if I was surrounded by only one of my cultures growing up then I would’ve had a worse identity crisis than I already did being a mixed child. Because of this, I think 3rd countries are the best if you plan on having kids someday.
I was born in Canada while my mom was born in Hong Kong and my dad was born in France. They both immigrated to Canada which is where they met.
Growing up was a bit weird for me. Here a lot of kids had immigrant parents, but I was the only one with parents from different countries with completely different cultures. The biggest issue was both of my parents had to communicate with each other in a language that was foreign to both of them, so expressing feelings during fights was hard. My dad learnt English in his teens while my mom learnt English in her 20s, so I could tell my mom would struggle more.
People always ask me how I don’t know my parents mother tongues if I’m an immigrant child and think I was just too lazy to learn it, but no one understands all I grew up hearing was English because my parents couldn’t speak each others languages. I knew a decent amount when I was younger, but I believe it created jealously between my parents. They didn’t have a healthy relationship so they’d use me to ‘spy and translate’ what they were saying on the phone, and they didn’t like it if I spoke to only one parent in their language because the other parent wouldn’t understand and would think we’re hiding something from them. I believe most couples would make an effort to learn and teach a bit of each other’s languages, but mine never did. My parent’s families all still live back home so that didn’t help either. This makes me very sad, there’s always a barrier even when I talk to my parents even now. I always feel like I could communicate and understand them better if I spoke their languages.
When I got older we visited some of my dad’s family, but I can tell my mom never feels fully welcomed. I can also tell both of my parents long for their home countries badly but know they can’t ever really move back. It makes me sad too but the truth is a 3rd country is the only way both feel equal. To be honest I’m happy I was born and raised in Canada rather than one of my parents countries, I think if I was surrounded by only one of my cultures growing up then I would’ve had a worse identity crisis than I already did being a mixed child. Because of this, I think 3rd countries are the best if you plan on having kids someday.