In order of preference:

1. Somewhere where I know the local language
2. If that’s not possible, somewhere where English is commonly understood
3. Somewhere that’s reasonably safe
4. Somewhere with job opportunities in my field
5. Everything else

Singapore is economically extremely competitive, highly developed, safe, English is pretty well understood, but it’s entirely urbanized and there’s no “lonely beaches” where you can live an isolated beachbum / island lifestyle.

Thailand is still pretty decent in terms of safety for Southeast Asia, but has some political instability that comes up semi-regularly, English will work… soooometimes, and I’m sure there’s decent private healthcare if you can pay for it, but it isn’t economically competitive with Singapore… unless maybe you’re in downtown Bangkok, but there’s no beaches in downtown Bangkok.

If your husband’s family are scattered around Asia, chances are he speaks an Asian language? If that’s the case go somewhere where at least one of you can speak the language fluently. There’s no point in moving to a beach with no job, no services, no social life, and where you can’t talk to anybody.

And think of it this way, whether you’re in Singapore or Bangkok - you’re in Southeast Asia, a bunch of lovely beaches are within like a one hour flight or an overnight bus ride. Maybe you won’t live on the beach, but services and infrastructure just tend to be better in the urban centres.

I mean, the sense of not quite belonging / being new to the party is just part of the expat experience, I think, and you said you don’t want to go back to India. So I’d say your best bet is a country that has a long tradition of immigration, a country with loads of very strong expat communities. In Europe I guess your best bet is France? But honestly I think in your case, it’s probably better to set your sights on the US. You’re not gonna find a significantly different attitude to expats and significantly larger expat community in Scandinavia or southern Europe.

I’ve had this same experience in the Netherlands when I lived there, and I’m now having it in Japan. I don’t think this is unique to the UK. I think to an extent it’s just a part of the expat experience. Of course living in a big city makes it worse, whether London or Tokyo - people live far apart, commutes are long, even if you do meet someone you hit it off with at work or at a bar or online, chances are they live 2 hours away from you. And then part of it is just getting older. I’m in my late 30s, and I realize that a lot of people my age aren’t actively looking for friends anymore - they have families, and the friend group they’ve always had, they’re not out looking to socialize and meet new people. So as an expat over 35 in a huge city, everything is kind of stacked against you. Which is to say yeah, I’m having the same experience… I think it’s pretty common. Probably also part of the reason why expats tend to form these expat communities.

Exactly. Countries spend a lot of money getting someone from birth to tax-paying employment. If you come in as a well-educated foreigner, you’re kind of a lucky catch. They don’t have to pay for your education, the first 20 years of your healthcare, they just get a whole readymade adult willing to work and pay taxes, plus they can withdraw your visa status if you do some sort of crime or become unemployed - they can’t do that with their own citizens. It’s basically the opposite of brain drain. Economically, educated expats are a great deal for a country.

I lived in the Netherlands for the past 7 years. Yeah, the housing crisis is real, but if you can stand the climate I think it’s a great place to live nevertheless. I don’t really do well with dark, gloomy, cold weather, so for me it was a real challenge making it through Dutch autumn and winter each year, but I gotta say the infrastructure, the general quality of life, availability of services, salaries and so on are great.

You’re going to have much less options for quality fruit and vegetables though. Also, consider that the Netherlands just had elections, and the anti-immigration anti-expat far right candidate won in a landslide victory, so the political climate may change in the near future. Racism exists in the Netherlands as it does everywhere - I’d say the Netherlands are on the more politically progressive side in Europe, but the recent election has me questioning that.

If you’re also considering other places in Europe, well, Spain has much more agreeable weather (to me at least), but you said the heat in Texas was something you wanted to get away from? Also the quality of food dining out and the availability of fresh ingredients is going to be significantly better in Spain, France, Italy.

I don’t know what field you’re in, but generally salaries are better in the Netherlands, Germany, and the Scandinavian countries, and lower in southern Europe. But then again the cost of living is different as well. I definitely wouldn’t move without having at least visited for a few weeks beforehand, and do a lot of research about job opportunities and salaries.

I find visits hard, but for the opposite reason. The things that annoyed me back then still annoy me. If I didn’t have family there, I would never visit at all. I don’t like the weather, I don’t like the mentality, I just try to focus on the things I do like while I’m there, but I’m always glad to be leaving again.

The first question to ask isn’t where you want to go, or where you can avoid having to pay taxes (very progressive of you!), but where you’ll be allowed to settle.

For all your outrage at the fascist dictator storyline you seem to have bad main character syndrome and a distorted view of how other countries work. You’ll need a residence permit. Start with that.