This was my husband and I. After meeting, living, and getting married in the third country, he dropped it on me that he wanted to go back home to his country. I was still in my early 20s and feeling down for the adventure, so I agreed.

We moved and I made it work (including doing all the bureaucracy myself, learning his language, and working in my career in his language for a number of years) but I’ll be honest that I had a ton of resentment because I felt sort of bait-and-switched. A lot of our arguments come back to this feeling and the massive workload on my part to make this work, but as it stands I’m currently back in my home country for a spell since I got laid off at my last job and needed to take a good job offered back home.

All that to say…it’s extremely difficult. It’s definitely way different than meeting initially in a country where one of you is from, because at least there isn’t that big shakeup. You also have this sense of comradery in the third county, like an “us against the world” vibe that goes away when you move, and you can end up feeling very alone/isolated.

Just speaking from my own experience, at least. It’s hard for sure.