My wife and I are wanting to move out of the US. We are avid travelers, but now want to just experience something different and live abroad.
If it weren’t for our young child, this would he a lot simpler. Do any of you have young children?
How is your experience? Do you recommend it? Technically, we live a very comfortable life in the US, we own a house, good job, cars, live in a safe place, etc.
Would love to get your advice and insights and your story. Thank you!
“Is being an immigrant with young children in a new society with a new language and zero support network easy?”
Nope, it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do.
When first time we decided to move abroad, our son was only 1yo. It was not simple ofc, but we thought it was a great opportunity FOR ALL OF US to experience life in a different country. Most of our extended family always think that we shouldn’t live abroad and always stay together as a family in relatively close distance. Our life was pretty good. But we don’t want our kids have that kind of mindset. So we have to be the one whose take the first step, and trying to get out from our comfort zone.
Now we have two kids. We didn’t regret it. Even more, we are still trying to find a way to move to other countries. And in between our stay, we travel a lot.
Thanks for your response! Which country did you move to and where? How was your experience compared to where you were before?
We moved to South Africa. Can you imagine the horror in our family’s faces? We heard only bad things about the country. But the job was good, provided us with good and safe housing and stuffs. That was three happy years. My son might not remember it, but as a parents, we have a beautiful memories and tons of amazing pictures for our old days.
We never compare the country we live in with our home country. Every country has its own uniqueness. We just enjoy wherever we stay at this very moment :)
We moved from NYC to Singapore 10 years ago. Our kid was born here shortly after we moved. Singapore is expensive (though not more than NYC) and international school fees are a drag (USD $20-30k/yr), but no regrets.
We travel a ton. He has been to more than 20 countries. We travel internationally at least every 4-6 weeks. Covid lockdown was a nightmare in SG, so we were grounded during that time, but otherwise it’s been great.
We will eventually move back to be closer to aging parents, but I’m super happy my kid has had this kind of international exposure. He already speaks 3 languages, too.
We moved with a 2.5 year old, kid is almost 5 now. We’re also from the US.
It has been challenging and rewarding. The toughest part has been figuring out the daycare/preschool system, navigating the cultural differences, and of course the language barrier.
For example, in our new country preschool is basically free, but after school care can be difficult to find. Mothers are expected to be heavily involved (attending events during the day). Her teachers are lovely, but certain cultural norms I think are completely silly (not wanting kids to cross their legs while seated, insisting on finishing all of the lunch). And I worry about correctly expressing my concerns/advocating for my child with the language barrier.
My husband basically doesn’t speak the local language at all and it’s certainly frustrating for him when he can’t even quite understand the teacher telling him what kid did in school that day.
Overall we’re happy with our move and are still planning on staying for the foreseeable future, but in many ways it feels like parenting on “hard mode.”
The hardest thing about raising a family in a country that’s not your own is being away from family. Children only building a tenuous relationship with grandparents - FaceTime doesn’t cut it. Rare visits with cousins. No backup child care. Your parents will start to age, much faster than you expect, and you won’t be around even as you know their good years are numbered. That’s very hard.
The rest - raising your kids with complex and complicated linguistic and cultural identities, identities that will be fundamentally different to yours, the cultural differences in child rearing norms, educational systems, values… the rest has some good and some bad. It’s up to you to decide if you can make the best of the good and live with the bad.
Ahh, yeah, that whole first paragraph doesn’t relate to us as it’s just been me and my wife raising our kid anyways. We have no ties to anything here, so that’s why we’ve thought about this.
And those next points are great. So hard to know without having actually lived in those countries before.
You may want to read up on the concept of “third culture kids” and what your child’s experience would be like being raised as one. How it would differ from your expat experience. That’s independent from the country you end up choosing.
We moved to SEA from the US when our kids were 5 and 8. It was perfect. They were old enough that we didn’t have to worry about diapers, naps and daycare, but not so old that their crappy education for those two years made a difference. Our family became so, so close! We have great memories of holidays, and trips we could never afford in the US.
Now that we’re back in the US and they’re in HS, we want to move again and it’s a lot more complicated. I think going when they’re young is the way to go.