Currently living in AUS/NZ with SO. We’re going to be trying for a kid soon, but we have no support network here and no family to help out. I think we should move back to the States, where I’m 100% certain family members would come to help us out for as long as we needed. Given the distance, that just wouldn’t happen if we stayed in AUS/NZ. SO thinks we can just handle it on our own.
We wouldn’t need to find new jobs, as we can just transfer internally. Would taking advantage of your home support network be enough of a reason to back to your home country?
We have two kids and we are still in our home country (we’ll be moving to Spain in the beginning of 2024) and our network is zero or actually just another family with whom we are very close friends (they took care of our oldest one for two days when I went to give birth to the youngest). We manage just fine! Granted I’m a freelancer and work from home, so I have more flexibility to handle situations like one of them gets sick and has to stay home, and my husband’s job also allows him to manage my schedule when I have appointments with clients. If it would be better if we have grandparents close by? Yes it would, but we chose to live in a differ part of the country and it’s best for us as a family. So when we move to Spain next year, it’ll be just the same.
As others are stating, I would also be very reluctant in moving to the US because of kids, with everything that is going on that scares the hell out of me. Nothing pays for the peace of mind that I feel by leaving my daughters in their schools, a feeling I don’t think I would have in the US.
Our situation is different from yours of course, but it’s just my two cents by someone who has kids with no network. We made friends with other parents in our daughter’s school and we hang out many times.
Thank you for this very valid comment- we have this ridiculous social expectation in the US that you need to have a dozen close connections and everyone helps everyone out all of the time and the kids should see their grandparents every week.
Other people in your life can be great and helpful, sure, but they can also bring complications. Sometimes less is more and it works out fine to just focus on your nuclear family!