Currently living in AUS/NZ with SO. We’re going to be trying for a kid soon, but we have no support network here and no family to help out. I think we should move back to the States, where I’m 100% certain family members would come to help us out for as long as we needed. Given the distance, that just wouldn’t happen if we stayed in AUS/NZ. SO thinks we can just handle it on our own.
We wouldn’t need to find new jobs, as we can just transfer internally. Would taking advantage of your home support network be enough of a reason to back to your home country?
I would honestly say have the kid there first and take advantage of any maternity / paternity leave that you can get. Then reevaluate and see how you like it.
If you’re going to be working full time in the States and the child will be in daycare, the family help wouldn’t actually be as necessary as you think. And you’ll presumably get more holiday in NZ / AUS to take advantage of chances to go home.
Try it and see what you think.
As my child has started going to preschool (I was working ‘flexibly’ while caring for him… ha) I’ve found I have so much more space and need the help so much less than when he was an infant. I could see myself staying abroad indefinitely. But it is true the first 1-2 years are hard if they aren’t in daycare and you really aren’t getting a break! So plan those family trips as much as possible.
Also build your network of mums and families in your neighbourhood. I could have done that a lot better and that would have given me a lot of relief