I feel like we have some fundamental value differences so when I find someone who’s like me, I get really happy.
How do I find them?
In hostels 99% of people are actively into drinking
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Stay in non-party hostels or digital nomad places such as colivings. Basically, look for slightly older people.
AA meetings
Well, in some ways, you can just learn to still have fun with people who are drinking.
Like, who cares if they’re drinking, so long as they aren’t getting trashed and getting into trouble?
Dating apps, gyms, libraries, coffee shops, parks. I agree with you it is difficult, but I’ve had success in the aforementioned.
You’ve found success in all of those? What kind of success?
Success in making friends or romantic partners that match my lifestyle.
Meeting people in the gym lead to gym friendships and girlfriends that prefer to exercise/be healthy than party.
Meeting people in cafes/coworking locations lead to coworking friendships and groups of entrepreneurs.
Dating apps where I strictly look for partners that don’t drink/party/drugs lead to exactly that (the adventure/explorative type of relationship).
Libraries may be the best (if you like to read). Striking up a conversation with a nice person over what type of books they read is very fun! I’ve gone on coffee/tea dates to discuss books with women I’ve met at the library.
Do you have hobbies? Gym, boxing, dance, hiking, whatever
No shortage of people who don’t drink or socializing that doesn’t revolve around partying
I like getting to know people. Does that count?
If you do nothing interesting or for yourself what is there to get to know anyway?
I am very interesting
CrossFit, Gyms. Health retreats. Pilates and yoga.
The people that visit these places on holiday typically won’t drink as much as your usual hostel dweller.
Stay out of hostels!!!
If I worked that little I’d just go full travel. People going on a lot of adventures don’t have time to drink.
I don’t drink alcohol and have the same problem finding people who don’t. I usually end up going everywhere by myself
A lot of people aren’t drinking anymore
It depends if you’re looking to meet locals or other travelers/nomads.
If locals, you go to the same activities you would in your home country - rock climbing, social dancing, chess club, knitting circle, volunteer organizations, whatever aligns with your actual interests. For example, I’ve been to climbing gyms in more than a dozen countries. I always meet people, and sometimes we end up climbing together again, or they extend an invite to join an outdoor trip somewhere.
If you want to meet travelers, though, it’s pretty easy: you just sign up for tours - walking tours, day tours, museum tours, etc. Almost every major city in the world has a “free walking tours” available, where you spend a few hours walking the city and tip out your guide - afterwards, it’s pretty common to grab lunch or coffee with others from the group you just met. I remember taking day tours out of Bangkok - they drive you to waterfalls, hot springs, an elephant park, etc. and by the end of the day, you’ve met all the other people on the tour, and you make plans for dinner or some other activity the next day.
Other than the responses I’ve seen so far- any religious groups that do not drink or filtering out drinking habits on Bumble Friends can also help.
Looking for any overlapping culture and where these people may hang out can be useful when you’re trying to find people like you.
As an alternative to “don’t stay at hostels”, I’d say “stay at more mature/family oriented hostels”.
I’ve done a few hostels here and there - YHA was a no party, chill vibe hostel. Sure, there were young people who probably ventured out at night, but 50-70% of patrons were older (mid 20s-mid 30s, some even older) or families.
Generator on the other hand was basement bar, constant doof doof.
Not sure if this has been said yet but, download the ‘Meetup’ app. You can set it to whatever city you’re currently in. You will find an abundance of groups that do all sort of activities that don’t involve drinking. Some are free, some require a small fee to join (depending on the activity they’re doing on a specific date), but it’s a great way to meet locals and international travelers alike.
I have met some people who just go to local AA meetings, as its all over the world and most are super friendly and sometimes also have like more meetups and activities…
I am not a recovering alcoholic, so I can easily be around people who drink, I just hate being around wasted people. This advice is based on Europe. I prefer to bond over activities:
If I see someone playing chess on their phone, I ask if they want to play on my board instead? In general having one good two player game on you, is always a good idea. Even lbackgammon or something more luckbased.
In hostels: breakfasts are great, because its the beginning of the day, and then if I like someone, I ask if they want to join me for my plans?
I join source and find local volleyball amateur players. It is both to stay active, but it is also great to meet people and often you’ll end up hanging out afterwards.
Hiking, alltough a bit tricky as it rarely happens. But if I do meet people on long hikes in the mountains, I tend to chat with them and give them my number.
Dancing. Like again depends on where I am and what is available, but most salsa and locla folkdancing events, people usually dont get wasted. Also I like techno and although most do drugs, I find it much more pleassant and fun to be with and dance to, also sober.
Live radio cafés… some places in Europe have these live radio channels, with a café vibe. Its a chill vibe and pretty cool.
Free lectures and exhibitions. Many artists show there art for free with a nice crowd. Often there are different university/EU projects/workshops or lectures for free. Obviously a bit more easy to meet likeminded people, when the topic are quite specific.