Hello!

I’ve seen a few posts praising the US and I can’t deny that I’ve also had a very concrete goal of moving permanently to the US eventually. I’m from the EU so the “reality” that I have of the US comes mainly from the media. With this being said, I’d like the brutally honest opinions of those that experienced the US first-hand, whether you’re American, have always lived in the US and absolutely hate it, or if you moved from the EU to the US and are loving the experience.

  • As expats, I think we’re all running from something from our home country (work conditions, family situations, etc). What made you move to/out of the US?
  • Do you feel your QoL (quality of life) has improved with your move to/out of the US?
    • If so, would you attribute this to working conditions/salary? Or living conditions such as more free time, good pension/retirement, etc
  • Do you plan on going back to your home country? If so, what is the main driver of that decision?

Last, but not least, for those living in the US, do you believe that the pros of having more/better career opportunities (at least for skilled labor/PhD level) in the US outweigh the cons of living there, namely:

  • poor/expensive healthcare
  • extremely high tuition fees for colleges
  • high crime rates (naturally highly dependent on the place you live)
  • small amount of time for maternity leave (I don’t mind the small amount for paternity leave, but in Scandinavian countries mothers can have up to a year of maternity leave which I believe is very beneficial for the kids. I do value countries that value and protect the family structure)
  • … and a general low work-life balance? (This last bullet point is not as important to me as I do like and appreciate the hustle culture of the US which makes effort/skills be more appreciated and compensated)

Thank you all! Apologies in advance if this has been asked multiple times before, but I’d like to condensate different perspectives in a single thread if possible as it might be helpful for others as well! :)

  • bebefinale@alien.topBEnglish
    1·
    1 year ago

    Re: maternity leave, only relevant to skilled labor PhD types (but this thread is about it, so anyway):

    One thing I have noticed as a woman professional. This is a complicated thing…because it is definitely good for families to have longer parental leave and I totally respect people who value family over career to the point where having a career once you become a mother isn’t an aspiration at all. But I am a PhD academic who runs an experimental research lab and I have many more models for how to do this successfully in the US as a mother than most other countries with better parental leave policies. Not every working mother wants to be an academic or do some other competitive job where taking maternity leave is super disruptive, but some do. I would argue that especially in my work environment, the places I have been that have better gender balance have been more functional and inclusive places and it’s striving to have closer to gender parity for leadership positions within an organization or career trajectory is a worthwhile goal.

    I live in Australia now, and I think the gender parity is better than many countries. The parental leave benefits are very good. In addition to the federally allowed universal parental leave (18 weeks at minimum wage), I have union negotiated 9 months of paid leave for my job, men are also able take carer’s leave, and there are formal processes to consider career interruptions during promotion processes. However, the grant environment is super competitive and being a scientist is totally reliant on momentum. The roadmap for actually taking this generous parental leave without sabotaging your career is basically…be more awesome than your male colleagues. The women I know who have taken leave had more grants and were typically at a more advanced career stage than their male colleagues. Then you hope when you come back that you still have a career. In the US, this isn’t a solved issue, but the shorter 3-4 months leave is less disruptive than 9 months leave and I just see more women who are able to be successful having taken maternity leave without being within the top 10% of achievement.

    Switzerland is especially bad for high level women professionals with families, like basically one of my colleagues who worked in Switzerland said she found the sexism super high and a lot of structural features that pushed women into being stay at home wives or doing part time work. Other women like the option to move to part time work when their kids were little where society is set up for it, but it can sometimes feel like it’s not a choice.

    The work environment varies A LOT by country and organization. Some countries are much better about having men take equally long parental leaves, or having daycare that is affordable and supported by the government. But many women I know have reported feeling a lot of unspoken scrutiny when being hired for competitive roles in their late 20s and 30s with the concern that they would leave and take those competitive benefits and leave the employer in a lurch.

    So paradoxically, our messed up system can sometimes promote something closer to gender equality as messed up as that sounds.