I moved from Italy to California two years ago for university and now I’m at the point where I need to start looking for a job. My boyfriend is in Italy and my project has always been to eventually go back and live with him. Now I don’t know if I want that anymore. He’s the person of my life and all my family and friends are in Italy, but I don’t want to leave California. I’m attached to this idea of big opportunities I have here in California. I belong both here and there, I have the feeling I’m giving up on my future if I go back. Also I feel it would be somewhat a personal failure to go back to the small italian city where my boyfriend lives. Has anyone had a similar experience?
I have been in a very similar situation, though my spouse and I were a bit more aligned on where we wanted to be.
Looking at your situation I would say it seems if you do go back to live with your boyfriend, you would likely be stuck in that city for a while, potentially forever right? It sounds like he is pretty set on staying there. If that’s not a future that you can handle it might be best to stay in California.
At the same time, if staying in California means you might lose the love of your life, can you really live with that? Just remember there will be a point in time in your life where work and career will become less of a priority than family, especially if you do have kids. Personally, if I felt I found the one it wouldn’t even be a decision for me to be with them, I just would. But I know right now it feels like career is just as important. I would just encourage to think long-term either way.
Regardless of whatever decision you make you should tell him everything and give him a chance to say how he feels about it.