Please give me advice. My wife and I have never been close with our families. They are okay people but just so different than we are. Well, We moved away once, for 18 months, and we both missed our families, oddly enough to us. Well we moved back, moved really close to family, and now feel like wtf were we thinking. One week is fine next week is drama and terrible behavior on their part. They don’t think they’re ever in the wrong, they won’t communicate about it, it’s frustrating. We want to move away again and this time for good as it was planned to be last time. How do we break through that barrier of missing our families after some time apart but leaving it be just that, fond memories and seeing each other during holiday and not getting all depressed and existential about wanting to go fishing with dad and making dinners with mom.
Edit: we won’t be moving just an hour away, the two places we are interested in would be either a) a 6 hour plane ride, or b) a 13 hour plane ride.
If I want to go “home” its a 30 hour trip door to door. At first I was a bit homesick, but after a few trips home, I realised I was missing the idea of ‘home’, not the reality of ‘home’. You tend to only remember the really good stuff and gloss over the rest.
For example I missed white Christmases and all the holiday cheer. Then I’d go home for a visit and experience the hectic visits to all the relatives in shitty weather. Experience the sleet, snow and slush rather than the blinding white snow in my memory. I’d remember amazing summer evenings camping, in reality, they were mosquito ridden nightmares!
Also weirdly, my mother and I now have a pretty good relationship whereas when I lived at ‘home’ or spent extensive visits with her, we would argue and be miserable